“Growing up, I was a boxer. It was me and my older brother. We traveled around New England. We fought all over the U.S. We went to Canada, Mexico and Europe to fight. He was a standby for the U.S. Olympic team. I fought for the U.S. Army boxing team. I had 12 professional fights, and I only lost one.

“When I decided not to fight anymore, I thought about my stepfather. He was a bodybuilder. Everywhere we’d go, people would gawk. He was this big, muscular dude with long blond hair like Fabio. So I was like, maybe I’ll get into lifting weights.

“I liked it, so I entered my first bodybuilding show. I ended up winning the Maine state championship. That same year, I won the Georgia state championship. Then I went to Florida and won there, too. I’m still competing.

“What I really like about bodybuilding is what I liked about boxing. It’s so individualistic. It’s all on you. If you cheat on your meal or get lazy and miss that workout, and you get on stage and lose, you only have yourself to blame. For me, that makes it much more worthwhile when you do achieve success. You know you truly earned it.

“Bodybuilders are pretty sensitive types of people. You’re constantly studying yourself and thinking, ‘How are they perceiving me? How can I look better?’ Because it’s very subjective. You’re always on stage in your underwear, and people are judging you. It’s like the worst scenario ever, right?

“People probably think these guys who lifts weights all the time are just big meatheads. But bodybuilders are some of the smartest people on the planet. Especially because they know the science behind what they’re doing: how the muscles and tissues work, how they get repaired, and how nutrients play a role in that.

“These people could be scientists. They’re building their body and changing it. They’re their own experiment.”

— Zack Field

Related:

• ‘I think my worst fear is just being average’

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Spa day with Layla, a Boxer-Bullmastiff mix.

“I got her in Fort Hood, Texas, at one of the local shelters right outside the base. 

“I had just returned from my second tour in Iraq and was getting out of the Army. We just kind of got attached to each other. 

“She ended up being my little road trip partner for a while. I spent six months or so driving around the country, just me and her.”

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“When you go into the military, you have this illusion that you can have it all. You can have a family. You can serve your country. You can have an amazing, fulfilling career. You know it will come with sacrifices. But you don’t know exactly what that will entail. For me, the life lesson was just how big the sacrifice truly was. I don’t regret my time in the military at all. I benefited greatly from it. But it does put strains on relationships. And bonds are broken as well, between a mother and child, or a father and his children. That’s something I’m still rebuilding, even after being out since 2013. I’m still repairing my relationship with my daughters.”

— Erica Salazar

Erica served as an intelligence analyst in the Army. She was deployed twice to Afghanistan, once as a soldier and later as a civilian contractor. While a student at New Jersey City University, she wrote the following Veterans Day piece for the student newspaper detailing her experiences as a wife and mother in the military. 

While the support and recognition of female veterans is gradually increasing, it is our dual role as a mother that is often overlooked. Although humbled by free meals and appreciation, Veterans Day is a time when I truly feel the impact of the eight years that I balanced active duty military life with motherhood.

I first became a mother on May 3, 2007, while stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas. Alone, at just 20 years old, I gave birth to my first child, whose father was deployed as part of the Baghdad Surge. Struggling through marital issues due to our long-term separation, as well as suffering from postpartum depression, those 12 months of raising my daughter alone laid the foundation for my resilience as a soldier and a mother. Three years later, this resiliency was tested as I faced my first deployment to Afghanistan.

In 2010, the 2D Stryker Cavalry Regiment out of Germany was ordered to deploy to Southern Afghanistan as part of Operation Enduring Freedom. Four months after giving birth to fraternal twins, Bella and Kloie, I found myself faced with the reality of war. As an intelligence analyst, I understood that my role was vital to the mission, and so I enacted my family care plan in order to deploy. While not ideal, I was forced to separate my children between families in Texas and Louisiana so that both their father and I could fulfill our deployment duties.

As part of the operations cell in Afghanistan, I was responsible for relaying real-time intelligence data and directing unmanned aerial vehicles over enemy targets and locations. In a day’s work, I went from creating intelligence briefs to assisting bombing missions against improvised explosive devices (which were attempts at destroying our convoys). What was once a grieving mother longing to hold her three babies, evolved into a hardened soldier. 

I found myself becoming distant from my own children. The long hours and emotions from a day in Afghanistan were hard to relinquish, so I thought it best to keep communication with my children to a minimum. Unfortunately, no one trains a female soldier on how to balance motherhood and active duty life. Most of all, no one warns you on how to cope with motherhood after a deployment.

The day I came home from Afghanistan, I had to bribe my 1-year-old twins with Oreos so that they would stop crying at the sight of this stranger in camouflage. I was their mother and yet, they had no idea who I was and how to feel about me. This took a toll on me emotionally as I tried to repair our broken bond. 

The deployment not only affected my relationship with my children, but it also took a toll on an already fragile marriage due to both of us developing post-traumatic stress disorder. In 2013, after years of mental and physical abuse, I divorced my ex-husband and exited the military. Lacking financial help, I made the difficult decision to leave my children once again and deploy for a second time to Afghanistan as a civilian contractor. A committed veteran and mother, I chose to simultaneously support my children and defend my country to the best of my ability.

The hard choices I made and the sacrifices my family has endured are experiences shared by many of my female battle buddies. On Veterans Day, we not only reflect upon our combat experience but also the war we fought in our own homes: the times our children didn’t remember us, the broken relationships, and the abuse resulting from war. 

As the backbone of the family, a female veteran carries the weight of war and motherhood. Yet, she will never regret her years of service to her country, for they made her resilient in the face of any obstacle pitted against her.

Related:

• ‘Honestly, I feel like nothing can break me’

• A voice for women who endure abuse in the military

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“I started getting tattoos when I was 18. Luckily I had friends who knew how to do them, so I just let them experiment on me. I think the last time I got one was 2013. I have a lot of them. The only thing I’ve got left to do probably is my back.”

Which tattoos are most meaningful to you?
“My left leg has this Japanese theme. It really represents my Asian heritage. When my dad was in the Army, he met my mom while serving in Korea. I was born there, but I came to the states when I was about 1. My parents got divorced, and my dad got custody of me.

“The last time I saw or talked to my mom, I think I was 5. But I’m still interested in that part of my heritage. I read a lot about it, like history books, and I try to learn words every now and then. It’s still important to me. It’s part of who I am.

“My dad is African-American. My mom is Korean. That’s like two different cultures, and I’m part of both. I think that’s pretty cool.”

— Devon Terrell

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• Young realist enjoys living a carefree life

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“My son, Pablo Antonio Picacio, is a first sergeant military police officer at Fort Hood. He has been ordered to put together a platoon to provide rescue efforts for those affected by the hurricane. He informed me that Fort Hood is assembling the biggest Army relief effort in history. He has been at the command center there coordinating the movement.

“My ex is retired military, so Tony has been a military kid since birth. He has been in the Army for 17 years. He has been on several tours in Iraq, Afghanistan, Kosovo, Korea and other locations. He was in Saddam Hussein’s palace during the takeover. Every time he deployed he was in danger.

“One day gone was too long. The deployments taught me to pray differently. I used to pray selfishly for the safety of my son. I had to learn to pray for all his soldiers because they are a family, a band of brothers and sisters who never leave anyone behind.

“I know they have to set up their command center in Katy. Hopefully, by the end of the week, he may get to us. I know he will not let anyone forget the smaller communities like Baytown. He is an absolute fanatic about his state of Texas. He would give his life to defend her. And now knowing Harvey has hurt his mama, he is serving with a vengeance. He will stop at nothing to defend, protect and serve Texas.

“I am so proud of him. I am encouraged by his strength and commitment.”

— Norma Picacio-Jones

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• Football coach braves flooding for friends, families

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“Around midnight, we suddenly came under heavy mortar and artillery fire. Generally, the Viet Cong would rain down on you before they’d try to overrun and take your position. So we were well aware that this was just the beginning of a long night for us.

“During the attack, a grenade was thrown in the midst of my men. It was a chicom, which is a Chinese-made grenade. One of its characteristics is that the explosive mechanism spurts out sparks that you can see at night. As a result of my training, I knew that it would not explode until 13 seconds after the person that throws it releases the safety lock.

“For some reason I assumed that I had at least three or four seconds to jump on the grenade and protect my men. It was just spontaneous, split-second thinking, and I jumped on it. Fortunately, I was able to jump back up immediately, pick up the grenade and throw it back. It was out of my hands for only one or two seconds when it blew up in the air about 18 to 20 feet away.

“The next thing that occurred was the mass assault. We had enemy fire coming from all directions. In the dark, it was just madness. We were popping flares so that we could see, but we were more or less shooting at shadows. I was able to rally my men, and at that point I could tell that two (Viet Cong) went down as a result of me firing my weapon. In that particular battle, we killed 21 Viet Cong.

“But the very surprising and rewarding thing about it was that my platoon suffered no wounded other than shrapnel fragmentations here and there. We used to laugh that those were like mosquito bites, and we would just pick them out and throw them away.”

— Freddy Rios, sergeant, U.S. Army

(Freddy Rios passed away on Oct. 15, 2019.)

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“When I was sworn in, the chief of police at the time said, ‘This badge is going to get you a lot of women. But it only takes one woman to get the badge.’ And sure enough … I was amazed to find out how women are attracted to men in uniform. I wasn’t prepared for that. I got caught in a trap.

“This woman had come on to me strongly, and I was weak. Then my wife found out about it. I quit the police department because I thought it might help save our marriage. We lasted a few more years before getting divorced. One day my wife confessed to me that she didn’t think she could ever trust me again. That dug deep. If you don’t have trust, you really can’t have a marriage.

“It also put a strain on my relationship with my two boys for a long time, especially my oldest. We were estranged for four years after it happened. He blamed me for breaking up the family.

“He served in the Army and did three tours in Iraq. One time he was sitting on some kind of military vehicle when a bomb exploded right next to it. That’s when he realized that he could die over there with us still being split. So he finally sent me a letter, kind of a reconciliation. When he came back home we got together, and everything’s cool now.

“But I’ve been heartbroken ever since for losing my wife. I screwed it up. It’s the biggest regret of my life. I’m still single. She was the best woman in the world for me. I haven’t found anyone since who’s even come close.”

— Bill Turner

The post Former police officer learns lesson the hard way appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1992. At the time I was thinking, I can live with this. My mom freaked out. But I told her, ‘It’s not cancer. It’s not AIDs. It’s not going to kill me. It’s going to be a pain in the butt sometimes, but I’m going to live with it.’ And that’s what I’ve done.

“There are a lot of MS blogs and websites for support and stuff like that. I’ll read things like, ‘Please pray for me. I’m having such a bad day. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.’ I hope people won’t misinterpret this, but that’s not me. I can’t hear that. I’m not the type of person who’s going to sit there and say, ‘Please do this for me. Please do that for me.’

“I guess it’s because of my dad. He passed away in May at 80 years old. He was in the Army Reserve for 30-something years. He was a civil engineer who built himself up into the executive vice president of the company. He worked all the time. And with him, if there was a problem, you take care of it. You don’t expect somebody else to do it for you.

“I understand why some people ask for support. In my job, people call and need help all the time. But personally, I’m not looking for somebody to hold my hand and say, ‘It’s going to be OK.’ I already know I’m going to be OK. I’m going to make it.”

— Nancy Worley

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• Domestic abuse call sticks with 911 dispatcher

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“My husband was in the Army for 13 years. During that time he was in Afghanistan for 12 months doing field artillery, providing cover for special forces on the border of Pakistan. He also was in Iraq for 15 months, and was like a police officer going door to door checking for guns, watching for IEDs and things like that. So he was in the thick of it all.

“He came out pretty well, considering, but he’s dealt with PTSD. He’s had episodes where he kind of zones out. Even something like the weather or a certain smell can make him feel like he’s back in Iraq.

“When it’s happening, I pretty much try to hide it from others. One time we were walking, and it was like he was totally not even there. So I was holding his hand and saying hi to people for him.

“It’s been a team effort. I’ve been able to calm him down, and he’s worked on it himself. I think God gave us personalities that go together. He’s very outgoing and friendly, and I’m the calmer one. He needs that calming person. Especially in crowds, that’s when he can get overwhelmed.

“When people try to blow off PTSD, like how you should be able to easily fix that, it kind of makes me mad. You can’t just fix it. I mean, if you were shot at for that many months of your life, you would never be able to just say, oh, it’s not going to happen again. You can’t just forget that a car had a bomb in it. When you’re driving down a road in the United States, there are times you’re naturally going to think about it. If he’s experiencing something like that, I just try to be more of a calming influence in his life than to try to say anything that will change it.”

— Sheila Billings

The post She’s a calming influence for husband with PTSD appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I’ve always kind of followed in my older brother’s footsteps. He’s married and in the Army now, stationed at Fort Sill. He’s my biggest hero.

“He’s always been there for me. Even as kids when we were being mischievous and stuff, he always had my back. He’s always watched out for me. He’s always made sure no harm has ever come my way.

“When he’s serving the country, he may not be out in combat, but his job still plays the same important role. I see him as not only protecting me, but also protecting everyone else in the country.

“I’ve always looked up to my brother. By far, he’s been the biggest influence in my life.”

— Chloe Anderson

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