“When I was 11, my aunt told me that the man I always thought was my dad was not my real dad. I was devastated. I couldn’t believe that a family could hold secrets like that from me.

“I went crazy. I remember screaming and yelling at my mom. I started getting more and more angry. It just kept building up inside me. I would get into fights at school. I was out of control. I was just so mad all the time.

“I was like that until I was about 22. The girl I was with at that time helped me. She kept me out of the suicide mind path that I was on. I tried hanging myself. I just got tired of life. I got tired of not getting the respect that I felt I deserved and the love from my mother that I needed.

“I’ve tried to find my biological dad. I know his name. But there are so many people out there with the same name. It got to the point where I was like, man, I don’t want to keep going through this. I don’t want to keep searching. To this day, I’ve never met him. I’m hoping that one day he might appear. One day he might show his face. Although I’m not really sure how I would react or what I would do. To me, my stepdad is my dad. He’s always going to be my dad, no matter what.

“And now I’m with someone I’ve known for 10 years. We’ve been together going on two years. She has two sons, and she’s an amazing mom. She tries her best for those boys.

“The oldest knows his dad, and he puts good effort into seeing him and being in his life. The youngest doesn’t know his dad. I tell him, hey, I know I’m not your real dad. But I’m here. If you want to look at me as your dad, I’ll try to be that for you. They both call me dad. It feels good. They’re not mine by blood. But in my eyes, they’re my sons.

“I might get mad sometimes if they’re being bad or they don’t listen. But I try to let them learn from their mistakes. I’ll say, look, I used to be just like this. So don’t do this. I want them to understand. Not just go through life, not knowing what’s right and what’s wrong.

“I’m glad I get to experience that. It’s not always pretty, not always perfect. But it’s good to be there for them. Be there and try.”

— Carlos “C-Los” Caldera Jr.

“I go by C-Los. I don’t like my name, Carlos. When someone calls me that, I’m like, where’s he at? Because it’s my biological dad’s name. If it’s true that he never put any effort into it, I don’t want to carry that name. It hurts me to have it. It makes me think every day like, who is he?”

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“When my dad died, he was just 41. He left behind my mom and five kids. I was the oldest at 16. The youngest was 3. The toughest part was just trying to go on with life.

“Mom was in such a state, figuring out what she was going to do. She had her high school education from a small town, and she was a very smart lady. But she had never been out there in the working world. She ended up getting remarried about a year and a half later.

“That was really hard for me and my brothers. All our family traditions were kind of turned upside down. He was a whole different kind of man. He was a truck driver. But he was a good man. He was good to my mom.

“Looking back on it all, I think one of the worst parts for me was that she wouldn’t even talk about what happened. I had nobody to talk to. Nowadays, there is plenty of help for people in that regard. But back then, you were expected to just get over it and move on.

“Well, I think it’s played out all through my life. I was kind of a loner. I was insecure about relationships. Never had a counselor to help me. Although I did at one point go through depression, and spent two weeks in the hospital. They never really broached the subject too much with me. I think I still deal with it. Probably every day, something enters my mind about it.

“One of my brothers got involved with hard drugs. He died of an overdose at 36. It just seemed like he never could get his life back together.

“My other brother battled alcoholism. He and I were separated by that for many years. He’s 71 now, and has been in recovery with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous. Through his AA work, he has helped so many other people with their struggles. It might sound strange, but you almost feel like it was his purpose in life.

“I live close to him now. And I’m happy to say that we see each other nearly every day.”

— Eugene Harrott

(Note: Eugene Harrott passed away on May 27, 2023.)

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“I will never, ever, ever forget that night.

“My dad was working for the old Houston Post. He was circulation manager for the La Porte area, where we lived. We did a lot of things together, including deliver the newspaper.

“I was supposed to go with him that night to pick up papers. But I’d had a date, so he decided to let me sleep. When he got back, we were going to do it together.

“When the police came knocking on our door, it woke up my mother and me. They said that Dad had been in an accident. Something was misread on the paperwork about another person possibly being in the car. At first, they thought it might be me. Everybody around there knew us, and that we delivered papers.

“The officers took me down to the police station. That’s where they broke the news to me. Dad was driving across some railroad tracks when he got hit by a freight train. He was killed.

“There were no warning lights at the crossing. It was a cold winter night, so his windows were up. He may have been listening to the radio. I guess by the time he saw or heard the train, it was too late.

“The hardest thing was that I had to go back home and tell my mom. When I walked in the door, she knew. She screamed so loud and so long that it lives in my mind to this day. Basically, she went into shock. I’m not sure she was really herself for a year after that.

“I was 16 at the time, and I’m 77 now. It was a long time ago. But that memory, it’s as if it happened yesterday.

“My dad and I were very close. He was my best friend, my partner, so to speak. So when he died, it was really tough on me. To be honest, I’m not sure I ever got over it.”

— Eugene Harrott

(Note: Eugene Harrott passed away on May 27, 2023.)

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The post 60 years later, he still misses his dad appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“My dad was a Southern Baptist minister and a doomsday prepper. I was raised in Palestine, up in East Texas. We lived in the parsonage next to the church where my dad preached. But he also built a little cabin in the woods, just outside the town of Rusk. It didn’t have plumbing, but it did have electricity. That was sort of a weekend getaway/ultimate destination if the grid ever went down and things got really bad.

“My dad was always a little mistrustful of the government. So I think he was just worried that something might happen and his family wouldn’t be safe. I guess in his mind it was really important to make sure that no matter what, we would be fine. In a way, that was very sweet. But in a way, it was kind of like, OK dad, please stop.

“I was homeschooled, and I had very little contact with anybody outside my parents’ social circle. So I just sort of thought it was normal. It was actually kind of terrifying as a little kid. I would have problems sometimes, thinking about the world ending. It was a big source of anxiety for me. Then, as I got a little older, and the world was supposed to have ended a whole lot of times but it hadn’t, it made me a bit cynical about conspiracy theories and that sort of thing. Like, yeah, I’ve heard it all before.

“Then when COVID hit, it felt like something I’ve almost been waiting for my whole life. Obviously, I’m not happy about it. But it was like, OK, I can do this. I feel like I’m ready for this. It would have been a big source of anxiety for me as a child. But now, as an adult, I’m not panicking. I have my bad days like everybody else, where I’m worried. But, you know, I sleep at night. It’s going to be OK.”

— Rebecca Barker

A former Baytown resident, Rebecca lives in Michigan with her husband and their daughter.

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The post Doomsday prepper dad prepares her for COVID-19 appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“My mom put me in Scouts when I was 6 years old. I went all the way through. I’m an Eagle Scout. I’ve got like 70 merit badges. I love Scouts so much. I think it’s the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.

“Growing up, I didn’t have a dad. So my Scoutmaster and a few others were kind of like the father figures in my life. I think I got all my morals and values from Scouts and from those individuals. Which I think is a really good base for morals because it’s based on being trustworthy, loyal, kind, helpful, friendly, courteous — all that kind of stuff. I’ve tried to imagine myself having not been in Scouts, and it’s really hard because it’s such an integral part of my identity.

“Some people have his weird view of Scouts, that it’s just this dorky thing. But we can do some pretty intense stuff. I can start a fire without any matches. I can build a shelter in the woods. Scouts took me and my best friend to Japan. I’ve been all over the mountains in New Mexico. They’ve got this tagline: the adventure of a lifetime. And I 100% agree with that. I recommend Scouts to everybody. 

“The whole thing about allowing girls into Scouts and having separate troops within the Boy Scouts, I’m totally about that. The more people who can learn Scouting’s values and have the opportunities to do that kind of stuff, the better.

“I was actually kind of worried for a little while. I’ve got this weird thing about success. I don’t think I’m going to be successful unless I’m a good dad. I want kids someday. And I was like, man, I really hope I can have a son so I can put him in Scouts. But now, I don’t have to worry about that. No matter what gender I have, I can throw them in there and they might like it, too.”

— Troy Breaux-Hare

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The post Boy Scouts ‘best thing that’s happened in my life’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I’ve got good kids for real, man. They are so good and so polite. They believe in abiding by the rules and laws. They have a high level of respect for everybody, even more so for people older than them. I sometimes wonder if they’re my kids. Stroke of luck, I guess. It sure wasn’t genetic.

“I was a rebel. Growing up, I didn’t obey the rules. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. There were a lot of things I shouldn’t have been doing back then, and the law caught up with me. I’ve mellowed out. But still, all that time I was wasting, I could have been seeking a higher education. I could have been making something more out of myself.

“What’s in my past, what’s on that piece of paper, some people judge you by that. But at the end of the day, I try not to let my past keep me down. I try not to let it discourage me or demotivate me. That’s something I can do for me.”

Do your kids know about your past?
“Oh, yeah. My two boys were raised by their mom, and I’ve been raising my girls with a different lady. My youngest daughter is going into the 10th grade and the other one graduated in 2018. I didn’t expose them to my previous lifestyle. But we live close to the hood. So when we go through there and one of my daughters asks why those people are all standing around looking like that, I tell them the truth. They’re all out there strung out on drugs. They’re sitting on that corner like vultures, waiting on anybody who’s lame to the game that they think they can get over on, scheme, con or just flat out rob.

“Some fathers might not be that honest with their kids. But that’s like bringing a baby cub into your house, nursing and feeding it, taking care of it, and then releasing it into the wild. That cub is not going to survive because he’s not aware of what the real world is all about. Those vultures out there are going to devour him.

“So while I don’t expose my kids to it, when they see it, I identify it and break it down for them. I do what a father is supposed to do. I tell them the truth. Because if I don’t, who will? And I watch my kids closely. I know it’s sinking in because of their positive actions and their behavior. The proof is in the pudding.”

— Marsay Harper

The post Lessons learned helps him raise his children appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“We grew up in a rough neighborhood. When we were young, it was pretty hard to be raised over there. But I made it through. Me and my brothers and sisters, we all made it through.

“I give a lot of credit to my dad. As I got older, he really showed me the way. He showed me how to be independent, responsible and respectful. He showed me in a marriage, how to treat and take care of your wife. I look up to my dad a lot. I really do. Me and him, we’re real close together. He taught me how to deal with a lot of things I never thought I would experience out here in the real world.”

— Jerry Rodriguez

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The post Dad’s life lessons pay off for grateful son appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I’m a single mom. I’ve never been married. I was with his dad for six years. Then I was with another man for nine years, but we split up recently.

“Now I’ve decided it might just be easier to raise him on my own. Because when your child gets attached to someone, and then that person is no longer there, it’s very difficult.

“I’ve always thought that kids should have both a mom and a dad. But his real dad is not a good person. His stepdad, the one who was there for nine years, he’s a good person. He just changed his mind, I guess, which is really hard to explain to a 12-year-old.

“I told him that life is about change. You can either be miserable about it or you can learn from it. Since you don’t want to be miserable your whole life, you try to grow from your experiences.

“He doesn’t have a dad right now, so that’s hard. But sometimes it’s for the best. He’s a good kid. He’s a strong kid for everything he’s had to go through.”

— Kim Myers

The post Single mom commits to raising son on her own appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When I was 12 years old my daddy said to me and my two brothers, ‘Boys, you may never go to college. You may never even get out of high school. But by the time you walk out of this house, you’re going to have a trade.’

“By the time I was 15, I could run pretty much any piece of dirt equipment or crane, do survey work, you name it. We got one week off when summer started and one week at the end of summer before going back to school. The rest of the time we worked. We paid rent and we bought our own school clothes. That’s just the way my daddy wanted it to be. It’s just the way it was.

“He had a big old hand. He wore a size 18 ring. They had to take two rings to make his wedding band. So when he put that thing upside your head, it didn’t take but a couple of times for you to pay attention.

“But he was right. We learned a trade. And all three of us were real lucky because through the years, we were never out of work.”

— Ben Davis

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The post Father taught his three sons the value of hard work appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“We have five kids: 19, 17, 15, 13 and 9. They’re all my world. But my youngest one here, she goes everywhere with me. I can’t even go to the grocery store without her. She’s daddy’s girl, I guess.

“The hardest part is when I’m out of town working construction. My wife doesn’t like it. The kids don’t like it. But it’s more money, and the per diem is pretty good.

“The longest I’ve been gone is six to eight weeks. I stay in touch with phone calls — all day, every day, especially with my youngest. She’s always like, ‘Daddy, daddy, when are you coming home?’

“Sometimes if a job wraps up early, I’ll tell my wife but keep it a secret from the kids. Then I come home and surprise them.

“I hate being away from the family for that long, but I have my duties. I’ve got to take care of the house, take care of the bills. It’s all part of what you’ve got to do to be a good father.”

— Daniel Oseguera

(Note: Daniel Oseguera passed away on Sept. 9, 2022.)

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