“I went through a period where I was dealing with depression. I had a lot of bad feelings about myself. At the time, I didn’t really know why. But I came to understand that it was due to traumatic situations.

“I used to be a volunteer firefighter for the City of Mont Belvieu. I love firefighting. I like helping people. But I think I saw too much, too fast. I did it for about 10 years. The fires, they didn’t bother me at all. It was the car wrecks. It was the death that I saw.

“The incident that pretty much put me over the edge happened one Friday evening. I was sitting at home when my pager went off at about 10 o’clock. There was an accident involving a motorcycle. So I started heading to the fire station. About halfway there I could hear the radio chatter. It said there was a confirmed DOA. Something inside of me said, ‘Ken, turn around.’ But then something also told me to keep going.

“When I reached the scene, I ran into a fellow firefighter. He said, ‘Man, there’s nothing you can do.’ I thought about turning around again, but I just had to go up there to the scene. And it was devastating. It was two people on a motorcycle, and they both were gone. It bothered me so much that after I got home, I couldn’t sleep that whole weekend.”

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“Coming from Brownsville and moving up here, we would run into accidents all the time and just feel helpless not being able to do anything. So I was like, I’ve got to learn some of that. I’ve got to learn how to help people. That’s where it started.

“I’ve been a firefighter now for 20 years and I’ve been doing EMS for 11 years. There are so many stories. One thing I can tell you is that as a first responder you never forget your very first patients, especially the hard ones. Those are the ones where you remember every detail of what happened. If you have somebody in need and you do everything you’ve trained for, and you’re still not able to help that person survive, it’s pretty devastating. That’s where a lot of medics and firefighters kind of stop and choose a different career.

“Communication is the key. Just talk with somebody. Don’t keep it in. I have a lot of medics that I train now. I always tell them, look, whenever you get to that point, come talk to me because that’s the hump that you have to go over. If you make it over that and you understand that you can’t blame yourself, you did everything that you could, you did everything right, then you’ll be able to help the next person. No doubt about it, it can take a huge toll on you. But if you get stuck in that place, you won’t be able to be there for that next person who needs you.”

— Ralph Errisuriz

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“My parents are both paid paramedics for the Highlands Volunteer Fire Department. Like them, helping people is my passion. It’s something that has always come natural to me.

“I’m studying to be a nurse. Being in the medical field, you can help anyone from any background, any race, any class. I feel like I’m a very sensitive person to other people’s emotions. So, whenever people are feeling down or they need help, I want to be there. It’s something I think I’m good at.”

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“I was a firefighter for years, but recently took early retirement.

“Overall, firemen are pretty well educated, but a lot of people don’t give them credit. They think, how hard can it be to stand there with a hose in your hand? But there’s a lot of science involved in various aspects of the job.

“The job can be exciting, but it can also be very boring at times. There’s no set time for emergencies. You can go all day and not turn the wheel and then be up all night, or all day and then sleep all night. It goes in spurts.

“I got used to that routine. I’m getting used to the retired routine now.”

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