“Growing up, there was a lot of chaos and turmoil in my home. I had two drug-addicted parents. And when I was 8, my mom started dealing drugs. People were coming and going. There were a lot of unsafe activities. There was alcohol. There was physical and other abuse. It was just an insanely unhealthy situation.

“But I was determined to have a good life. Whether they were passed out on the couch or whatever, it wasn’t going to affect my day. I kind of had to be the sun, moon and stars for myself. I had to be the author of my own life. I realized that if I didn’t make happiness for myself, then I’d be sitting in my room crying and miserable all the time.

“I tried my best to self-isolate or disassociate. I was doing a lot of escapism. I loved anything fantasy. I was a really smart kid, and I loved reading books. I loved writing stories. I also rode my bike a lot. Whatever it took to make sure I had a good time, despite what was going on around me. My sister was several years older, but she wasn’t really hands on with me. So I was pretty independent.

“When I was nearly 12, my mom seemed ready to stop doing drugs and turn over a new leaf. That was great. I was happy for her. But then she had herself a last hurrah, and she overdosed. She didn’t make it. I was devastated. Despite everything that had been going on for years, I loved my mom very much. Even though she was not awesome to me, I still thought the world of her. I was the kind of person who tried to make everything seem better than it really was.

“A few days after the funeral, without my knowledge, my father signed over his rights to me to my grandfather. And he left, just took off. I was pretty upset. I thought for sure that my mom’s death was going to be his wake-up call. That we were going to be OK. We were going to try to be normal people now. But that wasn’t the case.

Turning to drugs

“After I started living with my grandparents, my grandmother had a big stroke. I was helping take care of her. And because of my mom’s death, they all told me that she shouldn’t be under any more stress. So I was never really able to grieve. I had to swallow all that. I was so angry and lonely. It’s no excuse, but it’s kind of what led me down the path of doing drugs to numb those feelings

“As a high school freshman, I was falling off badly. I couldn’t see how anything was worth being sober for. I was doing any substance I could get my hands on. I was really addicted to certain prescription pills in my high school years. I wasn’t going to class. I was way behind on my credits. By my senior year, they put me in alternative school. The principal was like, ‘You need to get this under control.’ And I did buckle down and even finished early. You couldn’t tell me a damn thing. I was still on drugs, and I felt like a million bucks. I felt unstoppable

“I decided to do graduation huge. So I got a hotel room and stayed there for about three months. All my friends were with me. It was always a party. But when the end of summer came, everyone left.

“My lowest point came while lying on the hotel room bed after taking I don’t even know how many pills. I told myself if I overdosed that night, it wouldn’t even matter. Maybe I’d go where my mom went, and I wouldn’t hurt anymore. I started feeling like my heart was slowing down, and then I kind of faded. I was so accepting of, ‘I’m dying.’ But I woke up the next morning. And the heartbreak that I felt, realizing that I hadn’t died, was unbelievably heavy. I wanted to hang myself.

“Then I started thinking about when I was a kid, how I told myself that if nobody ever made the happiness, it was up to me. I felt that I’d let myself down because I hadn’t made any happiness for myself in a really long time. That’s when I decided to leave the hotel room, go home to my grandparents, and start making some changes.

‘These kids are awesome’

“At 18, I began a relationship with my now husband, Kory. We’d been best friends forever. We had our ups and downs, and when I was 20, I had a miscarriage. I’d told myself if I ever got the chance to be a mom, I’d make sure I had a normal family. So that rocked me really hard. It left me heartbroken.

“A few months after that, I got pregnant again, and we had our first biological son together. That put everything into perspective. Feeling the love of a child and for a child was groundbreaking. When he was about 9 months old, I learned that I was pregnant again. And I started to feel this dread. What if I can’t love this new child as much as my other one? I thought my love for my first son and my older stepson was enough.

“Then one day I told myself, this is going to be my mom’s baby. Even though my mom was very tan, my older sister had blue eyes and almost blonde hair, light skin. They told her, whenever you have a second child, it’s probably going to be a boy. She started fantasizing about having this angelic, blue-eyed, almost blonde-haired, light-complected little boy. Then here I come with tan skin, brown eyes, dark hair. Anyway, I told my husband that this was going to be my mom’s baby. I was sure it was going to be a boy with blue eyes. I woke up the next day with this sense of knowing, this peace. And sure enough, he was born exactly how I pictured.

“These kids are awesome. Our oldest will be 14 in February. Our middle son just turned 9 and our youngest is 7. I love all my children, but the youngest definitely holds a special place in my heart. He reminds me so much of my mom.

“Even though life was extremely difficult when I was young, with my mom on drugs and not always around, I loved her very much. So with my youngest, I’ve always had this sense of familiarity that I felt for my mom. Maybe I just dreamed the whole thing up. But I’ll embrace it. I feel like I deserve every single bit of magic there is.

Unwelcome health scares

“Four years ago, my husband was driving us home from Austin, and I started to feel weird. I was getting a headache, and my vision was getting fuzzy. I didn’t want to overreact. I was going to try to sleep the rest of the way.

“When we got home, I sluggishly walked into the house and basically passed out on my bed. I woke up the next day, opened my eyes, and there’s this big blind spot in my vision. I still had this splitting headache. And I’m like, what the hell is happening? I spent a lot of time with my grandmother after several strokes. I saw the symptoms present in her, but nothing like this. So I immediately put stroke out of my head.

“I was in the hospital a week, doing every test possible. They didn’t know what was going on. Until I got the CT scans back. Guess what? I had a damn stroke. I was beside myself. Here I was, 26 years old, and I’m like, what the hell? They have to give me medicine to calm me down.

“Then they do an ultrasound, and they find out that I have a hole in my heart. In rare cases, it can send a blood clot to your brain and cause a stroke. And I’m like, this cannot be happening to me. Haven’t I had enough bullshit in my life?

“I had been doing everything right around that time. I was hiking with my kids, eating right, drinking plenty of water. I was angry about the whole thing. It seemed so unfair. I’d been through so much already in my life, so I didn’t want anymore. Like, whoever has my voodoo doll, you can stop now.

“It happened during COVID. So I couldn’t have visitors. I was losing my mind because I’m away from my kids, my babies, who are extremely attached to me. I felt very isolated and stressed out. I had all these breakdowns, but then I started having breakthroughs. I was like, OK, I’m going to come out of here bigger and better. Nothing can stop me. I’m actually a tsunami. And it was because of my love for plants and gardening. I had big ideas that I was determined to make happen.

Gardening therapy

“Before my stroke, I had discovered a love for gardening. I found solace in plants, a purpose and sense of reward. I started collecting succulents, and I was having a whole lot of fun with it. It was very therapeutic. I was making breakthroughs without having to go to a therapist.

“I started to sell a few plants here and there through social media. Then I decided that I was going to make it into a little side business. It would allow me to stay flexible with the kids and do something for myself. So I set up a plant page on Instagram.

“Our family has deep roots in Baytown, and I wanted to find a way to connect with my community. I wanted everyone to love plants and gardening as much as I do. While I was in the hospital, I started focusing on what I’d do when I got out. I had this extensive knowledge from researching and working with these plants. And I’m like, I could teach people all about it. That’s what I’m going to do.

“Since then, I’ve done a lot. I’ve taught plant classes for little kids at daycares. I was blessed with an opportunity to work with students at an elementary school in La Porte. I’ve done countless classes for adults. I’m a regular at Baytown’s farmers market, and I plan to start going to the one in Mont Belvieu. It’s all about succulents. And I’m having a blast. Hopefully, making a difference in people’s lives.

“Looking back on everything that’s happened in my life, where I’ve been and where I am now, I feel this overwhelming sense of happiness, this sense of magic. Just knowing that I can do whatever I want to do. Overcoming adversity in every possible way. From drug-addicted parents to being a drug addict myself, to having a stroke, and permanently losing some of my vision. To having a husband, kids, and being able to be a loving person despite what I’ve gone through. I’ve never let anything stop me from doing what I want.

“I’m going to write a book about my life one day. It’s going to be fantastic. Just watch. I can’t wait.”

— Felicia Garcia

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“My wife and I have four kids and nine grandkids. Our kids are in Beaumont, but we live in Baytown. I travel to Beaumont for work. So when I get off, I pick up some of the grandkids and bring them home with me. When I leave for work in the morning, I bring them back.

“Those little characters love their pawpaw. We don’t have them all at the same time. But when they’re staying with us, they like when I take them to the park to do some bike riding or fishing. Our biggest challenge is keeping those guys happy. But having them around keeps us young.

“Family has always been important to me. Mom and Dad, they raised me and my sisters and brother that way. My wife and I have tried to keep that going with our own kids. They stay in touch with me five, six, seven, eight times a day. They’re calling me constantly: ‘Hey, Dad. We’re just checking on you.’ I tell you, that is a great feeling. It sticks with you from morning to night, knowing that somebody is worried about you and excited about what you’re doing at all times of the day. It’s really nice. Family is everything.”

— Cedric Pete

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“I went to live with my grandparents when I was 13. They were like my parents. They raised me as their son. And I helped take care of them until the end. I would go with them to their appointments in Houston, and there were a lot of them. But I made sure they never missed them. They both passed away from cancer. My grandpa had thyroid cancer and my grandma had leukemia. It got them pretty fast.

“For a long time, I felt lost. It was kind of like when they cut a person’s finger off, they still think it’s there. They still feel it. I would wake up saying, ‘Hey, mama and papa,’ but they weren’t there. I was pretty sad for a while. But then I was like, you know, they’re not struggling anymore. They’re not suffering anymore. They wouldn’t want me to be sad. They would want me to continue trying to better myself in life.

“If you have a dream, you have to work to make it come true. It’s not going to happen just like that. People don’t sell houses sitting down. You’ve got to go out there and work for it. Sometimes it takes patience. Sometimes you have to go through hell and high water to reach your goal. But in the end, it will be worth it.”

— Barron Williams

The post He faces future with late grandparents’ inspiration appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“My grandmother is the epitome of a nana. She always feeds you. She always listens to you. She’s always there for you. She always wants the best for you. Now, for her and my grandfather to do this garage sale to help with my wedding, it’s just amazing.

“We’ve been really fortunate. The venue we wanted had a sale conveniently going on when we were looking, so we got a low price. The wedding dress I found went on sale the next day, so it was really cheap. I don’t know how, but everything is coming together. And it’s amazing to see how much family, friends and just life in general are kind of saying, here you go.

“I used to think about what it would be like to get married. But after my parents divorced when I was 16, I didn’t know if it would ever happen for me. I always hoped for it. But when you grow up with two great parents, then all of a sudden it kind of crumbles, you wonder if there’s such a thing out there for you. But with my grandparents, I always saw it. I still see it. So I know it’s there. They’ve been married almost 50 years. Now it’s kind of cool to have my own moment, where I know it’s real. We’re going to make it happen.”

— Kaitlyn McDonald

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“Believe it or not, I never wanted to have children. Honestly, I felt like the world was a little too cruel, and I didn’t really want to subject him to that. But I also hadn’t met the person that I wanted to have a kid with yet, either. I love my husband. And when I actually got married to him, I knew I wanted to have kids with him. That was the deciding factor. And my mom, of course. I got a little pressure from the grandparents. ‘Just one, Sonya. I just want one grandchild from you.’”

Now that your son is 4, how do you feel about the world?
“It’s pretty much the same place I thought it was. I’m a very leery person. I shouldn’t say non-trusting, because I do trust a little bit. But I really do have to trust before I let it go or let him go. I’ve seen a lot of things and dealt with a lot of things in my life. It can be cruel out there. But I also see that there’s kindness in the world. One of the reasons I think I’m feeling a little better about everything is because there is goodness. And while I try to see the best, I still have that little guarded feeling sometimes of, ‘I don’t know about this.’ I still think you need to have that.”

— Sonya Stombaugh

The post Mom watches out for son in what can be ‘cruel world’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“My family loves to help people. That’s just the way my grandparents raised my parents, and it’s how my parents raised my sister and me.

“When we lived in the Rio Grande Valley, in a little town called San Benito, we were about 20 minutes from the Mexico border. We would see people who had crossed the border walking down the street, and they needed food or were looking for work. So my grandfather would put them to work cutting grass on our big lots.

“He would say, ‘You come help me for the day. I’ll feed you and give you a little money to get you back on your way.’ Usually, it was men who had left their families behind. They would try to get on with the farms and pick cotton or whatever vegetables were in season. Then they would turn around and take the money they earned back to their families.

“I realize that some people don’t agree with doing something like that. But it’s just the way my grandfather and grandmother were. They always thought it was the right thing to do. They always wanted to help people.

“My grandparents have passed away. But our family still helps people. We do things to provide for needy families around here. I’m proud that we’re carrying on that tradition. We’re pretty compassionate about helping those who have a genuine need. I love that about my family.”

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“Growing up with my biological mother wasn’t the most fun time ever. After she and my father split up and he moved down here to live in Texas, we were bouncing around from apartment to apartment. It was pretty crazy. I would never be able to go to sleep when my mom had parties. So as much as I could, I ran away to my grandparents’ house a few blocks away.

“I was 17 the last time I was with my mom before she finally gave me up. I went there one day and found her and one of her other sons on the staircase, arguing. He had a knife, and it looked like he was going to stab her. So I got in the middle and said ‘No.’ She grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the floor, and she started beating me and kicking me in my ribs, spitting on me, calling me names, and telling me I was an accident. She always would say that, I was an accident. She yelled at me to get out.

“That day, I didn’t want to go to my grandparents because I didn’t want them to feel stressed out and scared. So I called one of my friends and went to her apartment. Back then, I never really cried. I always wanted to make things perfect, so I would try to keep smiling. But it was hard.

“My friend was like, ‘What’s wrong?’ I said, ‘I just don’t understand. My mom really doesn’t want me.’ And that’s when I started to cry. The tears just came out.”

— Roberto Carrasco

Related:

• He feels like ‘the only dad I’ve ever had’
• His ‘Texas mom’ was always there for him
• He continues to smile in the face of life’s challenges
• YouTube videos are his form of therapy

The post Biological mother ‘really doesn’t want me’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“We’re getting ready to be grandparents for the first time.”

“Every time I talk about it, I get goose pimples. Because we’ve raised two daughters and now we’re going to have a grandson, and he’ll be named after me. I’m Pat and he’ll be Patrick. It doesn’t get any better than that.”

“It just shows how much our daughter and son-in-law think of my husband. He’s been a great dad and he’s a great father-in-law, so they want to honor him. At least, that’s what we think.”

— Wanda and Pat Mooney

The post Nothing better than becoming grandparents appeared first on The Baytown Project.