“I’m a veteran. I was in the Marine Corps. And there were two things the Marine Corps forgot to teach me. Number one, rollerskating. Number two, ballet. But what did they teach me? They taught me to take my job seriously. They taught me to kill. You think I’m going to let someone come here and hurt you, while I’m wearing a uniform representing this country? No way.

“I remember when I was just 19 years old, and my commanding officer had a mustache. If your commanding officer had one, then you were allowed to have one, too. Well, at 19, my mustache wasn’t as dark as my hair. So how did I accommodate that? Shoe polish and a comb.”

— Ray Allen Benoit

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“I took a year break after graduating high school before joining the Marines. I served about 10 years. I was stationed in California and deployed twice to Iraq.

“My son was born just before my second tour. I was there for his birth in October, but by January I was gone. So I saw his first smile on a video, his first laugh on a video, his first steps on a video. That’s when I decided I had to go home. I had to get out.

“Because of the war at the time, we were on stop-loss where nobody gets out. I had to wait almost 11 months longer than I had planned. Unfortunately, my last day in the Marine Corps also turned out to be the last day for my family.

“I knew it was rocky. I was juggling three balls. I was a husband, a father and a Marine. And I was having trouble juggling all three. I didn’t want to part with any of them. But the one I was most willing to part with was the Marine Corps. I had decided to put that aside and concentrate on being a father and a husband.

“But sometimes it just doesn’t work out. It was amicable, though. My ex-wife and I are still friends. I still call my son. He’s 17 and going to be a senior in high school. We talk. We chat online, in text messages. But I haven’t seen him in a couple of years. That’s the real hard part.”

— Robert Ortiz

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“He was everybody’s best friend. It was one of the hardest things I have been through, mostly because it was so unexpected,” said Derek, a 2003 graduate of Robert E. Lee High School in Baytown. “I never knew the details, other than reading it was a case of mistaken identity.”

Shaken by the shooting, Derek felt like running away. “And the Marine Corps was happy to have me,” he said.

Less than a month after the funeral, Derek was being sworn in. Within a year, he was stationed in Iraq.

“It changed my life profoundly,” Derek said. “But through this terrible loss, my life gained meaning, purpose and direction.”

Military trauma

A third-generation Marine, following in his father’s footsteps, Derek rose to the rank of sergeant. He served a year-long deployment to Iraq’s Anbar Province and another aboard the U.S.S. Essex in a humanitarian and training capacity with countries across Southeast Asia.

Derek completed his service in 2008. But the experience proved hard to shake.

“Looking back on my time in Iraq, I feel very guilty knowing that I contributed to the devastation and destruction in that country over the past 14 years. It hasn’t sat well with me,” he said.

“I thought my contribution to that war would have helped an oppressed people. But I think the country is in far worse shape than it was before we entered.”

Derek fought additional personal battles after his time in Iraq, mostly post-traumatic stress and depression.

He said that one of the hardest things, especially for veterans, is asking for help.

“It’s stigmatized and viewed as being weak, which is incredibly wrong. It’s shockingly normal. One in four Americans will experience some sort of mental illness, post-traumatic stress being one of them,” Derek said.

“Dealing with it is just a matter of whether you have a community around you with the proper resources. Thankfully, I had that when I needed it. It was up to me to reach out.”

Nonprofit world

Despite enjoying teaching and originally planning to pursue that as a career, Derek was introduced to the veteran nonprofit world through some volunteer work while attending graduate school at City College of New York. It opened his eyes to the unmet needs of returning veterans, and it sparked his desire to serve that community.

Derek is making a difference now as veterans’ health officer for the New York State Health Foundation.

“My role is pretty incredible. I get to invest in organizations that are dedicated to improving the health of veterans across New York,” he said. “I’m helping expand some of the services that were vital to my transition out of the service, so it is one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.”

Derek finds time to volunteer with Puppies Behind Bars. The organization trains prison inmates to raise service dogs for wounded war veterans and explosive detection canines for law enforcement.

He also is a competitive runner, and participated in the United Airlines NYC Half-Marathon on March 19. The event benefited Tuesday’s Children, formed in the aftermath of Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001, as a response and recovery organization that supports youth, families and communities impacted by terrorism and traumatic loss.

Watch Derek run

Derek was never a running enthusiast. But after his time in Iraq, it became a way for him to temporarily escape his problems related to PTSD and depression.

“Before long, I was running nearly 50 miles a week. I have since run four full marathons and quite a few smaller races,” said Derek, who raised more than $1,500 in finishing the NYC Half-Marathon in a little over two hours.

“I love to travel and explore new places, so running became a way for me to get acclimated to new environments. It really is the best way to get to know a new place, which is one of the ways I got adjusted to living in New York City.”

Giving back to Tuesday’s Children has not only allowed Derek to support the organization’s mission, “but also help in my healing process by continuing to serve others — something instilled in me as a young Marine.”

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“Basically, my whole life revolves around the military. That’s where I feel the most comfortable. When I walk into the VA Hospital, for instance, I know I’m among my brothers and sisters.

“So many veterans are dealing with PTSD, homelessness and other issues. When I heard that 22 vets a day are committing suicide in the U.S., I was shocked. It really broke my heart. That’s why I do whatever I can to help.”

— Lionel Ayala

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“Yeah, it’s been kind of tough at times. My wife and I have been through a lot. Obviously, having a kid in high school was pretty challenging. Later, while I was in the Marine Corps and stationed at Camp Pendleton in California, our house burned down.

“After I got out in 2013 we were both unemployed, and it was kind of rough for us trying to find jobs. So she said, you know what, I’ll just join the Army. It was for financial reasons, and then she realized that she loves her job. She’s a behavioral health specialist, working in mental health. She’s based out of Virginia and has our two kids while I’m here.

“Actually, I’m looking for work because I’m staying here for a while helping my grandpa. He has dementia, and besides me there’s really no family to help him. My father doesn’t want to help and my mom’s in jail.

“Anybody who has a family member with dementia knows how rough it can be. At times, I swear, it’s worse than dealing with a 2-year-old kid. But it’s something I really need to do.”

What keeps you going through all of this?
“My wife and kids. I’m thinking about them a lot.”

— Dale Walton

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“I’m planning to go back to school to get my master’s in military social work. There’s a big need in the veteran community. Especially as a female veteran with kids, it’s hard to get the help you need.

“I’ve had to deal with PTSD, but it wasn’t from war. It was from sexual assault in the military, which is what I experienced. It takes a toll on you. And when you’re battling something like that alone, it kind of sets up a barrier between you and your family.

“For a long time, it was very hard. I never told anyone until maybe two years ago when I was at a breaking point in my life. I talked to someone at the Veterans Hospital, and then I came home and I told my husband.

“People tend to want to numb that pain through things like drugs and alcohol abuse. For me, it was none of that. It was mostly just wanting to end my life. There was a point where I had so much self-hate that I even pushed my husband away. My entire life just came down on me.”

— Lydia Rosales-Vega

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