Sky Allen McSpadden proudly served in the United States Navy for nine years, based in Jacksonville, Florida. For five of those years, he was stationed aboard the USS Halyburton, a period of service that took him across the world — to places like Greece, Spain, London, Africa, Bahrain and the Seychelles. His recruiter told him he’d see the world, and he did.

Sky deployed three times to Somalia, where he actively engaged in anti-piracy missions. One of his most memorable deployments was in 2009, when the USS Halyburton played a key role in the rescue of Captain Richard Phillips after he was taken hostage by Somali pirates. Sky was also aboard the ship during the filming of the movie “Captain Phillips,” starring Tom Hanks — an experience he never forgot.

His time in the Navy gave him a deep sense of pride. But when his sea duty ended and he was assigned to shore duty, things changed. Life behind a desk couldn’t compare to the thrill and purpose he had found at sea. Eventually, Sky made the decision to return home.

After returning, he met the love of his life. Together, they bonded over their shared love of animals. They competed in dog shows, trained dogs at home, and built a life centered on care, companionship and love.

On the morning of April 15, 2024, Sky passed away in his sleep — just days before a trip to Colorado, where he and his wife were to hold their wedding ceremony. His sudden passing left a profound void in the lives of those who knew and loved him.

Sky was not only a sailor, he was an artist at heart. One of his paintings depicted a solitary sailor with his sea bag, preparing to head out to sea. That image inspired a mural now being painted on our building in his honor. It serves as a tribute to his service and a way to keep his spirit alive in our community.

In his memory, we wear bracelets that say “Sky’s the Limit.” Friends and family carry these bracelets on their own travels and adventures, posting and sharing photos wherever they go — continuing Sky’s journey, one memory at a time.

— Karen Hefner, proud Blue Star Mom

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“My husband and I used to work in the refineries, and we made two decent paychecks. But they didn’t last for anything. We struggled buying diapers and formula. So it started with asking people to donate things like that for moms and dads and grandparents taking care of young kids. Now it’s grown to all sorts of food items and necessities. And the response has been great. The community is showing they really care. Whatever goes in the box belongs to whoever grabs it, whoever needs it. A lady across the street says it helps her every single day to feed her kids and have diapers for them. That’s what it’s all about. It’s made an impression on my kids, too. They get excited seeing people drop off stuff, and they have a better appreciation for those needing help.

“There are times when we all just sit down and cry. We really miss our little girl. But through this whole experience, I feel like we’ve gotten so much closer to God. I hope nobody else has to go through what we’ve gone through. I hope I bear all the burden and all the hurt and all the sorrow and all the grief for any other mother. Maybe this is not the testimony that I wanted, but I feel like this is going to help somebody else later on down the road.”

— Roxanna Castillo

The Alicia’s Blessings box is located at 1003 E. James in Baytown. It’s available 24/7 for drop-offs and pickups.

Roxanna also wants to highlight the importance of water safety for young children. A great resource is Teresa Rising, who we featured in a story several years ago. She’s a certified master instructor with Infant Swimming Resource’s Self-Rescue program.

The post Blessing box: ‘Her story doesn’t end here’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When I was young, I wanted to be an OBGYN. I wanted to be there when babies were born. There used to be a show on Lifetime called ‘Birth Day.’ I watched it with my mom, on repeat. I learned all the terms they used in the delivery room. I wrote them down in a little journal. Like, I could tell you exactly what Pitocin was, and how it sped up labor.

“When I decided not to go to med school and pursue nursing instead, I found information about becoming a doula. I was so intrigued by what they do, I got certified at 18. Then I was like, ‘Who’s going to hire me? I’m not a mom. I’ve never been in labor.’ But I started sitting with a lot of moms during the labor process while I was in school. Then I learned about postpartum doulas. Someone who comes home with you after you give birth and is there as frequently as you want them to be. They help take care of baby. They teach you all these new things about this little person, and also about your changing body. So I learned about that, and it just took off for me. I absolutely loved it, and I launched my postpartum business fulltime. I aim to serve low-income moms, marginalized communities, teen moms.

“Also, we talk about social determinants of health and how some children might be more prone to abuse. We need to watch these things. If a child is born into a household where there’s abuse, where mom’s on a fixed income, and they don’t have a support system, then this child will most likely have health effects later in life. So let’s fix it at the source. Somebody be there with mom and educate her on how to make it through these tough times. Teach her how to parent. Teach her how to build a stable household for her child. That will negate some of these negative effects that may come later on.

“My slogan is, ‘Hold the mother.’ Everybody comes over to the house, and they want to hold the baby. But who holds mom?”

— Carleigh Joseph Olivas

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• Social worker is a ‘blank slate’ for clients

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“I’m an introvert. I like my alone space. But you don’t have alone space anymore when you’re a mom. With two kids, that’s something I had to navigate. Especially with my first child. Two months after he was born, I developed postpartum depression. I got severe anxiety. Like leaving the house with him was a lot. Like he had to eat all the time. Everything felt overwhelming.

“I recognized what was happening. But I kind of didn’t want to deal with it. My mother-in-law asked my husband to talk to me. She saw that I was not OK. And he was like, ‘I notice you’re different. What’s going on?’ So I told him. And at that point I stopped breastfeeding, which helped. I didn’t have to be there every three hours. It gave me a little freedom. I also went on antidepressant medication for a while, which made things a little less dark.

“When I got pregnant with my daughter, my son was only 10 months old. And I was terrified. I ended up going to therapy. It helped, to know that how I was feeling was OK. That I’m not the only one who goes through it. Because there is a lot of postpartum depression with moms. We don’t really talk about it. For a lot of people, it’s hard to ask for help. I was in that position with my first child. But with my daughter, it ended up being a lot easier. Everything wasn’t new. I kind of knew what to do. And I joined MOMS Club. That was a big help. It pushed me to get out, to be around other people, to start conversations. It provided me with support. It helped me instantly.

“When we moved here from California, I didn’t know anyone. It’s always been hard for me to start friendships. But I knew if I wanted to build a life here, I needed to find other people to be around. That’s why I started a MOMS Club chapter. We’re all stay-at-home moms, or moms who work part-time. We meet up during the day. We go to the park. We have a monthly moms’ night out without kids. But most of all, it’s support. An adult to talk to during the day instead being alone with your kids.

“Now I feel like I’m better able to help other moms, especially those with younger kids. My advice to them is to take care of yourself. As long as you take care of yourself, you can take care of your kids.”

— Annemarie Padilla

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“I remember everything. I was 7 years old when she started being nauseous and feeling weak. I would walk her to the restroom and back to the living room. At first, she thought she was pregnant. But it was cancer. And it spread. It attacked her organs.

“It was pretty hard on me. I was really, really close to her. I would even sleep with her in the hospital. One time she told me, ‘Baby, I’m going to be gone. You’d better get ready.’ She was preparing me for the worst. In less than a year, it was over. She was 38 when she passed away.

“I still get sad when I think about it. But I have lots of good memories of her, too. I remember her walking with me to school every morning. And in the summer, we used to look at the stars every single night. My middle name is Lucero. In Spanish, it means bright star. So she would point to the sky and say, ‘That’s you, baby. That’s you right up there.’ To this day, I like to sit outside and look at the stars every night. And I talk to my mom. I tell her, ‘I need your strength.’

“Her name was Martha. She loved life. She loved helping people. We didn’t have much. But if she saw somebody who had less and needed it more than we did, she’d take food to their house. And she took me with her. I still remember when I was like 3 years old, she would give me the bag of food and say, ‘Here, you give it to them.’ She was showing me what it means to be a caring person. And it stuck. Because I love the feeling of helping people without expecting anything in return. Just like my mom.”

— Brenda Avila

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The post She continues her mother’s life lessons appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“2020, and with it COVID-19, caused severe strife and strain in many people’s lives. From the loss of a loved one or a job, to financial issues, it was definitely a tough year. For some of us, though, 2020 didn’t create any problems that weren’t already there, whether obvious or hidden beneath the surface. It simply magnified those issues and forced us to deal with them. Personally, 2020 was the year that my severe mental illness caught up with me.

“I’ve suffered from severe depression and anxiety since I was 16 years old. Now at 33, I’ve battled this often misunderstood disease for more than half my life. Somehow, even with several bouts of depressive episodes, I managed to power through. I completed a bachelor’s degree, master’s degree, 200-hour yoga teacher training, and then two pregnancies. I got really good at compartmentalizing my mental health issues: stuffing everything away, not really dealing with anything, and then just living life in survival mode. No big deal. Nothing to see here.

“Growing up, while most little girls dreamed of having babies and getting married, I fantasized about becoming president, a lawyer or a doctor. By the time I reconnected with my now-husband in late 2014 (we knew each other in high school, and I had a huge crush on him when I was 15), I had resigned myself to being #foreveralone. I had two dogs, and a budding social work and yoga career. I was fine. But life obviously had different plans for me. Really, it’s no surprise that my transition into motherhood and marriage has been challenging.

Feeling suicidal

“Fast forward to February 2020, when I told my sister-in-law and another close friend that I was feeling suicidal. My daughter had just turned 1 in September, and I felt like I was finally coming up for air after a brutal year navigating life with an infant and toddler, and again, living in constant survival mode. Robbyn (my sister-in-law) and Lori (my best friend) immediately came to my house and talked me through what I was feeling, and made sure I was safe. The next day they checked on me and encouraged me to contact my psychiatrist, who had been treating me for antepartum/postpartum depression the last for years. I got set up to see her that week, and she increased my dose of Sertraline (generic Zoloft). After a few weeks, I could sense the darkness lifting.

“Then March and COVID-19 came along. I was working part time for Clear Creek ISD in League City. As the State of Texas came to a halting stop — businesses shuttering, schools closing for two weeks to ‘slow the spread’ and ‘flatten the curve’ — I found myself stuck at home, alone and isolated from family, with a 1 1/2-year-old and nearly 4-year-old. April was grueling, as the virus was still so new and so much was unknown. We were not visiting anyone outside of our home. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do. Finally, at the end of the month, I took my kids on a walk to our neighborhood park. I felt so nervous and judged for letting them on community playground equipment. But my sanity was starting to falter. Something had to give.

“By May, I had to call in reinforcements. My mom and stepdad became my saving grace. Every two weeks, they picked up my kids and gave us a 24-36-hour reprieve. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. But I was never cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. I am happiest when I’m working and putting my skills to use. So I was slowly dying inside each day, at my children’s beck and call.

“The school district was having us attempt to work from home. That meant I was on Zoom through March and April, while my kids screamed in the background. Then I had to stay up late to answer emails and complete documentation in peace. It wasn’t working for me. It was too stressful, and my productivity was nonexistent. My colleagues and boss could tell. So I turned in my two weeks’ notice and left my position by the middle of May. I began assisting with screening stations at the entrances of the hospital where I also work, as my regular assignment in the case management department was forced to reduce usage of PRN staff. My dad watched the kids so I could go to work two or three times a week, which I looked forward to doing. We powered through the summer months, finally getting used to the ‘new normal’ of social distancing, mask wearing and, for the most part, staying home.

‘Something in me snapped’

“At the end of August, though, something in me snapped. We had moved into a new home at the end of July (in hindsight, moving in the midst of a pandemic, during the second wave no less, might have been a poor choice). We were struggling with an ant infestation at our new place. One day, as they were marching through our garage, inches from the door to the interior of our house, just a feet from our pantry, I flipped out. My husband and I got into a massive argument over buying ant poison. I stormed inside and locked myself in our bedroom. I was sobbing and struggling to catch my breath. I felt completely out of control. I knew something had to change, and fast. I was either going to hurt myself or someone else. So I texted my best friend, Lori, and told her how I was feeling and that I was contemplating checking into a mental hospital. She encouraged me to pack a bag and go. And that’s what I did. Without saying another word, I packed a bag, got into my car, and drove across Houston to check into Houston Behavioral Hospital. I was shaking and nervous to go inside. But I finally mustered the courage to get out of the car and enter the building. 

“While I was going through intake, answering questions from the Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale (an assessment tool that I was familiar with as part of my line of work), I started to feel like I had made a huge mistake. Anxiety set in, and my mind starting racing. Did I really want to do this? Was I just being dramatic? Who would take the kids to preschool the next day? Crap! Their nap mats are in my trunk. The mortgage is due, and I’m the only one with the login info. I wanted to tell the staff never mind and just leave, go home, and pretend like everything was OK. I decided to call my husband and let him know where I was and that I was about to be admitted. I told him I would have to turn off my phone and turn it in to be locked away while I was in the hospital. He told me to do what I needed and take care of myself.

“‘Take care of myself.’ What a novel idea. So many times, the needs of women and mothers are placed on the back burner. We take care of everyone and everything else, and we are left with very little energy or time to tend to our own health. It’s a tragedy and an American epidemic. No paid maternity leave, no paid partner/spousal leave, and very little postpartum care/follow-up allows room for a whole crop of issues to arise. 

“So 2020 was the year that I finally started taking care of myself again. I can’t be a good mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend or employee if I’m silently suffering, and placing my needs and health at the bottom of the totem pole. It took a pandemic to finally get me to this point. But I’m getting the help, healing and support that I need in order to be the best version of me. I’ve made it my mission to share my story as often as possible to help reduce the shame, guilt and stigma associated with mental illness and with seeking help.”

— Rachel Flinn

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“When the initial shutdown began in mid-March, I was seven months pregnant, and my sister was due to deliver her first baby any day. It was a time full of excitement, of course, but also a lot of uncertainty — the uncertainty of what was going on with my body and the baby inside, and the uncertainty of the virus.

“My biggest concern was to do whatever was necessary to keep my newborn niece, parents, in-laws and unborn baby safe. Luckily, my company instituted a work-from-home mandate, so I really didn’t have to go anywhere other than doctor’s appointments. My husband, Ben, went to all the appointments with me until he was no longer allowed. Even then, he would either take me or meet me in the doctor’s parking lot for support. We even FaceTimed during our final ultrasound.

“My sister also surprised us with a drive-by/Zoom baby shower. Thank goodness for technology.

“Fast-forwarding to the arrival of Nora on May 4, we couldn’t have any visitors at the hospital. But it worked out for the best because we had a chance to really bond with her.

“Although the feeling of uncertainty has never gone away — are we doing this parenting thing right? is she eating enough? what is she thinking? — Nora has brought us such happiness.

“I just feel so grateful to have had the opportunity to work from home and spend so much time with her, when I wouldn’t have been able to in a normal year.”

— Alyssa Linares Reilly

The post First-time mom performs balancing act in pandemic appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When my husband and I walked into labor and delivery, I knew our lives were about to change forever. But I had no idea the world would be shut down when we left the hospital with our girl.

“Sloane Pepper was born on March 16 and has quarantined with us ever since.

“As if becoming a first-time parent isn’t scary enough, we now had to raise her during a global pandemic. Not being able to invite people to meet her, worrying about access to, and inventory of, newborn-essential items, and the fear of getting sick were all daily, emotional challenges. All of this on top of adjusting to being a mom: Is she eating enough? Why won’t she nap? Why is she napping so long? What day is it?

“The silver lining of it all was the amount of uninterrupted quality time we got to spend together as a new family. Watching Sloane grow has been the highlight of our lives. I’m selfishly glad we got to keep her to ourselves for so long.

“She has met only a handful of people, and we’re not sure what the new normal holds. But I know the sacrifices we’ve made and continue to make during this pandemic, albeit challenging, will ensure she will have a healthy, happy future when the virus is in the rear view.

“As I reflect on the last nine months of parenting in a pandemic, I feel extremely fortunate for our health and proud I provided our extended family and friends a bright spot in the year 2020.”

— Leah Linares Abbate

The post She’s raising her first baby during pandemic appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“My mother works for the county. She’s been at Stallworth Stadium several weeks now, where they’re testing people for coronavirus. They’re open every day, and she only gets one day off. So it’s been physically and emotionally exhausting for her.

“They’re testing about 250 a day, and just hearing the stories of people makes for some very hard days. The first week, a woman who tested positive was really worried and scared. Not only because she had coronavirus, but because her mother was dying. Since she had the illness, she wasn’t going to be able to see her mother. My mom said her heart was just breaking for this lady, so she started praying with her. Then there was a 12-month-old who tested positive. The test is pretty uncomfortable because they have to stick a cotton swab down your nasal passage. So you can imagine how incredibly tough that is for someone so young. There are many more stories like that.

“When my mother comes home each day, she’s so tired. Her back hurts really bad from standing on the concrete all day.

“Me and my siblings have been extremely careful, making sure we practice social distancing, because we know whose life we’re risking when we don’t follow what the CDC asks of us. It’s our mom, you know? As soon as she gets home, she takes a shower and makes sure she’s all clean. She doesn’t even touch us because she’s scared of possibly infecting us.

“It’s been pretty stressful. But I admire my mother a lot. She has such a great heart, and she has really stepped up to help. I know that the people who stop by to be tested are getting the best care possible with her.

“But I won’t lie. It is worrisome that any day we could get a call from her saying, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t be with y’all now because I have coronavirus.’ That’s pretty scary to think about.”

— Kaelyn Anaya

Kaelyn’s mother, Kimberly Anaya, is a senior client specialist with Harris County Public Health.

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The post Her mom on coronavirus testing front lines appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When I heard about the coronavirus, the first thing I did was pray, ‘Please don’t close the schools. Please don’t close the schools.’ My boys are particularly rambunctious, and they don’t always get along perfectly with each other. So when the kids usually go to school, it’s a very nice break for everybody to have their own time away from each other. But of course they did close the schools, and I understand why that was needed. Now here we are, all together.

“At first, I thought it might be similar to summer when everyone’s home. But it’s not. Obviously, there’s school online and their homework. And during the summer break I might say, ‘Let’s go to the library today,’ ‘Let’s go to the splash pad,’ or ‘Let’s go see if a friend can play.’ But those are not options right now.

“One activity that has been pretty successful for us is to have a snack in the afternoon while I read to them. I’ve been reading ‘Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians.’ They seem to enjoy that and sit still. In fact, the other day, my oldest said, ‘Mom, you never read to us today.’ And I’m like, ‘Well, today was kind of crazy.’

“I’m trying my best, but there’s a lot to juggle. Everyone’s wanting me at the same time. I’m trying to help this kid find out what’s going on with a computer program here. The baby’s crying over here. And sister wants me to read her a story. But I’m like, there’s only one me.

“My husband’s work has quarantined, so he’s been working from home. So if things get really bad, I can call out to him to take the baby for a little bit. I walked in one day, handed him the baby, and said, ‘It is now officially Take Your Daughter to Work Day.’

“I just try to find those breaks where I can. I see some people on Facebook saying, ‘Oh, what do I do with all my extra time?’ And I’m thinking, what extra time are you talking about? I’m busier than I’ve ever been.”

— Holly Suisse

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