“I was 23 weeks pregnant when Ari was born. She was a micro preemie, and weighed just 1 pound, 4 ounces. Because her lungs were very premature she couldn’t breathe on her own, so she was intubated. Then they did a trach, and then a G-button for feeding. She was in the hospital for a year and a month.

“When we were finally able to bring her home, she was on a ventilator 24 hours a day. They taught us how to change her trach and her G-button. They prepared us for emergencies, like if we had to give her CPR.

“There have been some scary moments. I’ve seen her heart rate go down to 25, where she’s turning purple and blue, her eyes rolling backward because she couldn’t breathe, and you think she’s already gone. She’s been in and out of the hospital, sometimes days, sometimes weeks. But she keeps bouncing back.

“Healthwise, she’s doing really well right now. She’s not on the ventilator. They’re talking about taking out the trach maybe next summer. That would be awesome. That would be a big, big step for her.

“She still has a long way to go. She just learned how to walk about a year ago. She still doesn’t speak. She still has to learn how to eat orally. She’s actually scared to eat. So she has to go to occupational therapy, physical therapy, eating therapy, speech therapy.

“She also was diagnosed with autism. She’s not used to big crowds, and loud noises scare her. She gets over-stimulated. So we keep her at home most of the time, especially right now with cold and flu season.

“She mostly watches Ms. Rachel, who does sing-along songs and teaches things like ABCs. It’s her favorite character. Although she just turned 5, her brain development is like a 2-year-old. She still doesn’t really know how to play with toys. She mostly just throws them because she doesn’t understand.

“It’s been a long journey. My mom, my sister, our close friends, they have been there for us throughout everything. And most of all, God has been there for us.

“There are moments when your faith is put to the test, when there are things you don’t understand. But I was told at a certain hospital that I should go ahead and just disconnect her. Because she was never going to have a normal life. That she was going to be bed-bound. Like, why would I want her to suffer? But we kept our faith. And with everybody just being there for us, that’s what’s kept us going.

“My hope for her? I definitely want her to be able to eat one day. For her to have that experience of sitting down to enjoy an actual meal. And I would love for her to speak. I would love, love to hear her call me mama.”

— Myriam Mejia

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“Growing up, there was a lot of chaos and turmoil in my home. I had two drug-addicted parents. And when I was 8, my mom started dealing drugs. People were coming and going. There were a lot of unsafe activities. There was alcohol. There was physical and other abuse. It was just an insanely unhealthy situation.

“But I was determined to have a good life. Whether they were passed out on the couch or whatever, it wasn’t going to affect my day. I kind of had to be the sun, moon and stars for myself. I had to be the author of my own life. I realized that if I didn’t make happiness for myself, then I’d be sitting in my room crying and miserable all the time.

“I tried my best to self-isolate or disassociate. I was doing a lot of escapism. I loved anything fantasy. I was a really smart kid, and I loved reading books. I loved writing stories. I also rode my bike a lot. Whatever it took to make sure I had a good time, despite what was going on around me. My sister was several years older, but she wasn’t really hands on with me. So I was pretty independent.

“When I was nearly 12, my mom seemed ready to stop doing drugs and turn over a new leaf. That was great. I was happy for her. But then she had herself a last hurrah, and she overdosed. She didn’t make it. I was devastated. Despite everything that had been going on for years, I loved my mom very much. Even though she was not awesome to me, I still thought the world of her. I was the kind of person who tried to make everything seem better than it really was.

“A few days after the funeral, without my knowledge, my father signed over his rights to me to my grandfather. And he left, just took off. I was pretty upset. I thought for sure that my mom’s death was going to be his wake-up call. That we were going to be OK. We were going to try to be normal people now. But that wasn’t the case.

Turning to drugs

“After I started living with my grandparents, my grandmother had a big stroke. I was helping take care of her. And because of my mom’s death, they all told me that she shouldn’t be under any more stress. So I was never really able to grieve. I had to swallow all that. I was so angry and lonely. It’s no excuse, but it’s kind of what led me down the path of doing drugs to numb those feelings

“As a high school freshman, I was falling off badly. I couldn’t see how anything was worth being sober for. I was doing any substance I could get my hands on. I was really addicted to certain prescription pills in my high school years. I wasn’t going to class. I was way behind on my credits. By my senior year, they put me in alternative school. The principal was like, ‘You need to get this under control.’ And I did buckle down and even finished early. You couldn’t tell me a damn thing. I was still on drugs, and I felt like a million bucks. I felt unstoppable

“I decided to do graduation huge. So I got a hotel room and stayed there for about three months. All my friends were with me. It was always a party. But when the end of summer came, everyone left.

“My lowest point came while lying on the hotel room bed after taking I don’t even know how many pills. I told myself if I overdosed that night, it wouldn’t even matter. Maybe I’d go where my mom went, and I wouldn’t hurt anymore. I started feeling like my heart was slowing down, and then I kind of faded. I was so accepting of, ‘I’m dying.’ But I woke up the next morning. And the heartbreak that I felt, realizing that I hadn’t died, was unbelievably heavy. I wanted to hang myself.

“Then I started thinking about when I was a kid, how I told myself that if nobody ever made the happiness, it was up to me. I felt that I’d let myself down because I hadn’t made any happiness for myself in a really long time. That’s when I decided to leave the hotel room, go home to my grandparents, and start making some changes.

‘These kids are awesome’

“At 18, I began a relationship with my now husband, Kory. We’d been best friends forever. We had our ups and downs, and when I was 20, I had a miscarriage. I’d told myself if I ever got the chance to be a mom, I’d make sure I had a normal family. So that rocked me really hard. It left me heartbroken.

“A few months after that, I got pregnant again, and we had our first biological son together. That put everything into perspective. Feeling the love of a child and for a child was groundbreaking. When he was about 9 months old, I learned that I was pregnant again. And I started to feel this dread. What if I can’t love this new child as much as my other one? I thought my love for my first son and my older stepson was enough.

“Then one day I told myself, this is going to be my mom’s baby. Even though my mom was very tan, my older sister had blue eyes and almost blonde hair, light skin. They told her, whenever you have a second child, it’s probably going to be a boy. She started fantasizing about having this angelic, blue-eyed, almost blonde-haired, light-complected little boy. Then here I come with tan skin, brown eyes, dark hair. Anyway, I told my husband that this was going to be my mom’s baby. I was sure it was going to be a boy with blue eyes. I woke up the next day with this sense of knowing, this peace. And sure enough, he was born exactly how I pictured.

“These kids are awesome. Our oldest will be 14 in February. Our middle son just turned 9 and our youngest is 7. I love all my children, but the youngest definitely holds a special place in my heart. He reminds me so much of my mom.

“Even though life was extremely difficult when I was young, with my mom on drugs and not always around, I loved her very much. So with my youngest, I’ve always had this sense of familiarity that I felt for my mom. Maybe I just dreamed the whole thing up. But I’ll embrace it. I feel like I deserve every single bit of magic there is.

Unwelcome health scares

“Four years ago, my husband was driving us home from Austin, and I started to feel weird. I was getting a headache, and my vision was getting fuzzy. I didn’t want to overreact. I was going to try to sleep the rest of the way.

“When we got home, I sluggishly walked into the house and basically passed out on my bed. I woke up the next day, opened my eyes, and there’s this big blind spot in my vision. I still had this splitting headache. And I’m like, what the hell is happening? I spent a lot of time with my grandmother after several strokes. I saw the symptoms present in her, but nothing like this. So I immediately put stroke out of my head.

“I was in the hospital a week, doing every test possible. They didn’t know what was going on. Until I got the CT scans back. Guess what? I had a damn stroke. I was beside myself. Here I was, 26 years old, and I’m like, what the hell? They have to give me medicine to calm me down.

“Then they do an ultrasound, and they find out that I have a hole in my heart. In rare cases, it can send a blood clot to your brain and cause a stroke. And I’m like, this cannot be happening to me. Haven’t I had enough bullshit in my life?

“I had been doing everything right around that time. I was hiking with my kids, eating right, drinking plenty of water. I was angry about the whole thing. It seemed so unfair. I’d been through so much already in my life, so I didn’t want anymore. Like, whoever has my voodoo doll, you can stop now.

“It happened during COVID. So I couldn’t have visitors. I was losing my mind because I’m away from my kids, my babies, who are extremely attached to me. I felt very isolated and stressed out. I had all these breakdowns, but then I started having breakthroughs. I was like, OK, I’m going to come out of here bigger and better. Nothing can stop me. I’m actually a tsunami. And it was because of my love for plants and gardening. I had big ideas that I was determined to make happen.

Gardening therapy

“Before my stroke, I had discovered a love for gardening. I found solace in plants, a purpose and sense of reward. I started collecting succulents, and I was having a whole lot of fun with it. It was very therapeutic. I was making breakthroughs without having to go to a therapist.

“I started to sell a few plants here and there through social media. Then I decided that I was going to make it into a little side business. It would allow me to stay flexible with the kids and do something for myself. So I set up a plant page on Instagram.

“Our family has deep roots in Baytown, and I wanted to find a way to connect with my community. I wanted everyone to love plants and gardening as much as I do. While I was in the hospital, I started focusing on what I’d do when I got out. I had this extensive knowledge from researching and working with these plants. And I’m like, I could teach people all about it. That’s what I’m going to do.

“Since then, I’ve done a lot. I’ve taught plant classes for little kids at daycares. I was blessed with an opportunity to work with students at an elementary school in La Porte. I’ve done countless classes for adults. I’m a regular at Baytown’s farmers market, and I plan to start going to the one in Mont Belvieu. It’s all about succulents. And I’m having a blast. Hopefully, making a difference in people’s lives.

“Looking back on everything that’s happened in my life, where I’ve been and where I am now, I feel this overwhelming sense of happiness, this sense of magic. Just knowing that I can do whatever I want to do. Overcoming adversity in every possible way. From drug-addicted parents to being a drug addict myself, to having a stroke, and permanently losing some of my vision. To having a husband, kids, and being able to be a loving person despite what I’ve gone through. I’ve never let anything stop me from doing what I want.

“I’m going to write a book about my life one day. It’s going to be fantastic. Just watch. I can’t wait.”

— Felicia Garcia

The post Magical life blooms after challenging start appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When I was young, I wanted to be an OBGYN. I wanted to be there when babies were born. There used to be a show on Lifetime called ‘Birth Day.’ I watched it with my mom, on repeat. I learned all the terms they used in the delivery room. I wrote them down in a little journal. Like, I could tell you exactly what Pitocin was, and how it sped up labor.

“When I decided not to go to med school and pursue nursing instead, I found information about becoming a doula. I was so intrigued by what they do, I got certified at 18. Then I was like, ‘Who’s going to hire me? I’m not a mom. I’ve never been in labor.’ But I started sitting with a lot of moms during the labor process while I was in school. Then I learned about postpartum doulas. Someone who comes home with you after you give birth and is there as frequently as you want them to be. They help take care of baby. They teach you all these new things about this little person, and also about your changing body. So I learned about that, and it just took off for me. I absolutely loved it, and I launched my postpartum business fulltime. I aim to serve low-income moms, marginalized communities, teen moms.

“Also, we talk about social determinants of health and how some children might be more prone to abuse. We need to watch these things. If a child is born into a household where there’s abuse, where mom’s on a fixed income, and they don’t have a support system, then this child will most likely have health effects later in life. So let’s fix it at the source. Somebody be there with mom and educate her on how to make it through these tough times. Teach her how to parent. Teach her how to build a stable household for her child. That will negate some of these negative effects that may come later on.

“My slogan is, ‘Hold the mother.’ Everybody comes over to the house, and they want to hold the baby. But who holds mom?”

— Carleigh Joseph Olivas

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• Social worker is a ‘blank slate’ for clients

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“The project is in 10 women’s prisons throughout the state. I’m part of a group of Baytown volunteers who serve two women’s facilities in Dayton. On the third Saturday of the month, we carpool up there with books and recording devices, and we assist mothers as they read a book they selected for their child. They write a little note in it before we mail it to the child’s caregiver, along with a URL to access the recording.

“What got me hooked is the simplicity of the project and how powerful it is. The kids get a book of their own, and they get to hear their mom’s voice. Some of these mothers don’t get family visits very often. Sending the books and letting those kids hear their mom’s voice often triggers the family to stay in communication.

“One month when we had a new group of moms participating, you could just feel the anger rolling off one young woman. We were like, why did she even sign up? But she stuck with us. As we wrapped up the project with them, we asked what they were going to take away from it. We got answers like, ‘I learned that my little girl likes books about trucks.’ Or, ‘I learned that my child reads at a higher level than I thought.’ Women will say, ‘I’m going to get a library card when I’m released, so that I can get books for my children.’ These are all great things, and they touch our hearts.

“When that one young mom raised her hand to share something, we were surprised she wanted to participate. She said, ‘It’s a beautiful Saturday morning out there. You ladies could be home having a barbecue with your family. You don’t have to be here. But you come here and do this for us and our children, without expecting anything in return. I didn’t know there were people like that in the world.’

“At a different setting, another mother said, ‘I learned that I don’t have to sell drugs to buy expensive clothes or tennis shoes for my kids. They just want to hear my voice.’

“We understand that we are not going to touch every mom who comes through the program. But if we can reach just one mother who then reaches her child, and that child develops a love of reading, the ripple effect is just like throwing a stone into a still pond. It has an amazing impact.”

— Rhonda Chandler

Rhonda has been involved in Women’s Storybook Project of Texas for about 15 years. You can register to volunteer through the website at www.storybookproject.org.

The post Reading connects incarcerated moms with kids appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“My parents got divorced when I was about 4 years old. My dad moved to Northwest Houston, but I got to see him a lot. We’d do the weekend thing, and he came to all my games and events.

“When I got my first house, he’d come around all the time. Wanted to know if I was OK. I’m an only child, so my mom and dad always watched out for me.

“Over time, my dad’s health got really bad. He started having eye problems. They told him he had diabetes. He developed kidney issues, so he went on dialysis. We ended up moving in together, and got some help in taking care of him. His vision kept getting worse until he totally lost his sight. It was very frustrating because he was used to being independent.

“One thing he always enjoyed was traveling. Even after losing his sight, he’d want me to drop him off at the bus station downtown. I’d walk him in and make sure he got assistance. He’d go to Dallas. He’d go to Shreveport. He’d visit my cousins in Tyler. He loved being on the road and going to visit people.

“One Christmas about five years ago, I was thinking about something to do. My dad had always wanted to go to New York City. Southwest Airlines had a special, so I set it up. We went to the Statue of Liberty. We went to Times Square. And we went to hear Aretha Franklin at Radio City Music Hall. He was super surprised. It was a great all-around trip.

“The one trip I regret not taking with him was to Mount Rushmore. He wanted to go but I was working a lot then, and I told myself, ‘You’ve got time.’ But my dad died in July 2020.

“My mom is still alive and well. We have something called date night. We’ll go out to eat, or one of us will cook, or I’ll bring some food. We’ll watch a movie or TV show, then I’ll go home. Mom likes to tell people, ‘I get my son on Tuesdays. No matter what.’

“A lot of people wish they would have spent more time with their parents. After they’re gone, they regret not having changed their schedules to make it happen.

“I’ve kept one of my dad’s voicemails. He’s telling me, ‘Hey, I hope you had a great day.’ And that he loves me. I listen to it every once in a while. It’s nice to hear that voice. It helps keep his memory alive.”

— David Battise

David continues traveling on his own and with friends. “I’ve met a lot of cool people that I’m close with to this day, almost like family. Some people see all my trip photos on Facebook and say, ‘Hey, do you ever work? I want your job.’ I decided that life’s too short. You’re never sure when you’re going to leave this place. So if you want to go somewhere, you need to take the time to do it.”

The post Only son savors time with his parents appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“One of the ways I learned to deal with my anger is through music. When I rap, I put everything into it. Whatever I’m going through, whatever I’m feeling, I try to express it in my lyrics.

“For the longest time, my mom didn’t like it. I would talk about her in some of my music. How she wasn’t there for me during parts of my life. I would talk about how I never saw my real dad. Or when my grandma gets sick. My mom always hated that I would put any part of the family business into my music.

“But it’s how I express myself. It’s what keeps me from wanting to kill myself. It’s what keeps me off the streets. It’s what keeps me from starting random fights for nothing. It’s what helps me keep my anger in check.

“My mom didn’t believe in my music. But one day, she finally took a chance to sit down and listen to my songs. Sometimes I talk about myself, and what I need to change. Like I’m sorry for never finishing school. I’m sorry for causing so much pain in your life. And when she finally said, hey, I like this, I like your song, it brought me so much joy. It brought tears to my eyes. She told me, you’re actually good. Keep doing it. Keep grinding.

“The lyrics and the message behind my music are the most important thing for me. My music, and what I’ve experienced in life, have inspired me to be better. I want to make up for who I was. Like every bad thing I did in the past.

“I want to spread peace. I want to spread love. I want to spread manners and respect. I want to tell people that there’s more to life than being out there fighting and being so angry, wanting to shoot something or kill somebody. That’s not the way out, you know? You’re either going to end up behind bars or end up dead. Eventually, you’ll get caught. Because what happens in the dark comes to the light, always.”

— Carlos “C-Los” Caldera Jr.

When performing, he goes by C-Los Da Boss. Google the name to find some of his music.

Related:

• Not knowing his dad leads to anger issues

The post He expresses himself through his music appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I’m an introvert. I like my alone space. But you don’t have alone space anymore when you’re a mom. With two kids, that’s something I had to navigate. Especially with my first child. Two months after he was born, I developed postpartum depression. I got severe anxiety. Like leaving the house with him was a lot. Like he had to eat all the time. Everything felt overwhelming.

“I recognized what was happening. But I kind of didn’t want to deal with it. My mother-in-law asked my husband to talk to me. She saw that I was not OK. And he was like, ‘I notice you’re different. What’s going on?’ So I told him. And at that point I stopped breastfeeding, which helped. I didn’t have to be there every three hours. It gave me a little freedom. I also went on antidepressant medication for a while, which made things a little less dark.

“When I got pregnant with my daughter, my son was only 10 months old. And I was terrified. I ended up going to therapy. It helped, to know that how I was feeling was OK. That I’m not the only one who goes through it. Because there is a lot of postpartum depression with moms. We don’t really talk about it. For a lot of people, it’s hard to ask for help. I was in that position with my first child. But with my daughter, it ended up being a lot easier. Everything wasn’t new. I kind of knew what to do. And I joined MOMS Club. That was a big help. It pushed me to get out, to be around other people, to start conversations. It provided me with support. It helped me instantly.

“When we moved here from California, I didn’t know anyone. It’s always been hard for me to start friendships. But I knew if I wanted to build a life here, I needed to find other people to be around. That’s why I started a MOMS Club chapter. We’re all stay-at-home moms, or moms who work part-time. We meet up during the day. We go to the park. We have a monthly moms’ night out without kids. But most of all, it’s support. An adult to talk to during the day instead being alone with your kids.

“Now I feel like I’m better able to help other moms, especially those with younger kids. My advice to them is to take care of yourself. As long as you take care of yourself, you can take care of your kids.”

— Annemarie Padilla

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The post New moms need to take care of themselves first appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I played volleyball in middle school and high school. Then I got a full ride to play at Lee College. It was my first year there, and we were at a tournament in the El Paso area when I landed wrong from blocking. I tore my ACL, meniscus and everything. I knew instantly.

“So I did the surgery. I did the rehab. I tried everything to get back into it. But I just knew it wasn’t going to be the same. I didn’t trust my knee enough to do the physical movements. I knew the sport was done for me.

“It was definitely upsetting. Being so young at the time, I thought my life was over. I wanted to eventually go into a four-year college program like my friends from our high school team. I really wanted to do volleyball as a full-time thing. But after blowing out my knee, I had to pick a different career.

“Right out of high school, I started working as a medical assistant at an OB-GYN office in Baytown. It’s the reason I decided to go into nursing. That and the fact that my mom has been a nurse for years. At the time of my injury, she was studying to become a nurse practitioner. She was constantly a role model to pursue a career in the medical field, and always encouraging me to do something big.

“I’m in nursing school at UTMB Galveston. It’s online right now, but hopefully we’ll go back to in-person soon. I’m still at the OB-GYN office, and I work alongside my mom. That’s been pretty cool.

“We really are best friends, so we work really well together. We mesh well. It’s like I know what she wants before she even wants it. Of course, we are mother-daughter, so sometimes we do butt heads. But for the most part, it’s been really nice.”

— Delany Boyd

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“The death of my mother is definitely something that I had to deal with because I was not prepared. I mean, nobody’s really prepared for death. I was an only child. Being as close as I was to her, it catches you off guard. You’re just not ready.

“As long as my mother was alive, I didn’t have to grow up. I didn’t have to worry about a thing because she was right there. She took care of everything. But once she left me, I had to step into that role, become the woman that I’m supposed to be, and just go on with my life.

“It’s been 25 years since she passed. I was 30-something at the time. So I was old enough. I worked all the time. I had a child. And I was very responsible. My mother taught me to be that. She taught me a lot of things.

“What I miss most is just being with her, talking with her, and getting advice from her. The best advice she ever gave me was to always, always, number one, respect yourself. She would preach that to me all the time. She said, a reputation for a woman is easy to get but it’s hard to get away from. And she said, you don’t ever want to get a bad reputation. So respect yourself first, and then be respectful of others.

“I’ve carried that with me. And I’ve laid that piece of wisdom on my own daughter. Just passing it on to the next generation.”

— Mary Arceneaux

Mary, who lives in Crosby, teaches Sunday school at Greater St. John Missionary Baptist Church in Baytown.

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“Her name is Tutti. Like Tutti Frutti. She’s a Chinese Crested/Jack-A-Poo mix. When she was very young, the people who had her stepped on her. They said the kids were real mean to her. So we ended up taking her.

“She has luxating patellas. Her back legs are out of place because of it. The vet said it would be $2,500 a leg to fix, but I didn’t have the money at the time. So she’s had to adapt.

“She couldn’t walk the first year of her life. She would take a few steps and fall over. I had to carry her everywhere. She’s 4 1/2 now. She only walks so many steps before getting tired. Then she kind of bunny hops. But she’s not in pain or anything. She’s a good, happy little girl. And she’s spoiled rotten. She’s like my baby. When my daughter went off to college, Tutti was like a mini-replacement.

“My daughter and I are very close. I was a single mom. It was always just me and her. Then I got my husband when she was 12. She’s about to turn 24. She graduated from Baylor University, and now she’s in Baylor Law School. She’s thinking about doing environmental or immigration law.

“She’s overcome a lot in life. She has Asperger’s. I didn’t know for sure until her first year in high school, when a counselor mentioned it. It’s been challenging, but she hasn’t let it stop her. She’s extremely smart. She made straight A’s all through school. She graduated high school with lots of honors. She was in honor society in high school and college.

“I’m very proud of her accomplishments. But I’m even more proud of how she’s grown as a person. She cares about others. She wants to help people. All I ever wanted was for her to be a good person and to be successful in life.

“I was a high school dropout. I left after ninth grade. Just getting in trouble with my friends. No support at home. No aspirations in life. When I was 21 and had my daughter, I was determined that she would have a better life and do better than I did.

“She’s the first love of my life. This baby here is second. My husband may not like to hear that. But my children are special to me.”

— Rhonda

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