“Grief doesn’t just bring tears. It enters your heart, your bones, your spirit, every movement and breath you take. Losing our daughter Cynthia Dawn’s fiancé, Daniel Blanchard, in 2019 to mesothelioma brought such agony to his parents, Edward and Maria Blanchard, and their family, as well as heartbreak to ours. The Blanchards suffered a loss no parent wants to experience, and Dawn faced the loss of the love of her life.

“Dawn had reconnected with Daniel in the fall of 2018. When she was a freshman at Baytown Lee High School, she had a crush on Daniel, but never told him. Ironically, a mutual hairstylist, Raphael Melendez, shared the story of Dawn’s crush with Daniel. Daniel called Dawn, and that phone call turned into a powerful love story.

“Both Cynthia Dawn and Daniel were living their own survival stories filled with incredible pain and medical obstacles. They understood what it was like to greet every morning with questions, doctors, hospitals, fear, hope and setbacks.

“Daniel had been diagnosed in 2013 with mesothelioma. Dawn was diagnosed with lupus in 1995 at the age of 20. Her original diagnosis would change, become a question mark, but ultimately would fall into the catch-all autoimmune disease, until it was finally labeled granulomatosis with polyangiitis. In 2008 she was diagnosed with kidney cancer, which resulted in the loss of her left kidney.

“With all they had suffered, were suffering, none of it diminished the light and love they shared. They literally lit up a room with their smiles and joy.

“Then on Jan. 26, 2022, the unthinkable agony of grief hit again with our family and the Blanchards. Our Cynthia Dawn, our Wonder Woman, who had lived 27 years with devastating disease, gave her last breath as one of her favorite songs played, ‘Magic,’ by Olivia Newton-John. Our families were again joined by the grief of losing a child.

“In the days following Dawn’s death, my husband, Charlie, our youngest daughter, Carrie, and I barely functioned. All we could do was put one foot in front of the other. All we could ask one another was, ‘What do we do now?’

“In an attempt to do something other than cry, Charlie and I started making earrings. It was something we had done prior to the COVID pandemic. We even attended events where we sold them. Creating became therapeutic. It was as if wire and beads became a guide to help us move forward.

“One day Carrie said, ‘You have so many of them now. Why don’t you give them away, because the act of giving is healing.’ That is how our project we’ve titled ‘4 Cynthia Dawn’ began.

“We knew Dawn and Daniel wouldn’t want to be remembered for their illnesses. They were two people filled with so much life and accomplishment. That is the story they would want told. It is an inspiring story of moving forward when life is doing everything it can to stop you. So we give away the earrings we make with hope whomever receives them will share the story, be encouraged when they wear them, or perhaps pass the gift on to someone else who needs encouragement.

“Dawn and Daniel’s story is one of love, passion to move forward, to not give up or give in to despair. Our families, the Blanchards and the Clevengers, want others to know what it was like to be Dawn Wonder Woman and Daniel Strong. So here’s a little about what each accomplished while battling illness.

“Dawn attended University of Houston, where she was co-president of Pi Sigma Alpha, the National Political Science Honor Society at UH. She interned for Houston City Council, as well as Galveston-Houston Association of Smog Prevention. In 2007 Dawn was selected by Senator Rodney Ellis to serve as a Texas state legislative aide. In December 2007, she graduated magna cum laude with double bachelor of arts degrees in political science and communications-journalism. She later went to work for the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality, where she oversaw the Back the Bay Program. She worked with TV and radio as well as developed PSA posters aimed at improving the environmental quality of Galveston Bay by increasing the public’s awareness of the bay’s value. The campaign was later revamped, and Dawn promoted the slogan, ‘What Happens in Houston, Ends Up in Galveston Bay.’ She loved to travel. Twice she journeyed to London and once to Australia alone, to explore both destinations. Dawn wasn’t concerned about traveling without friends or family. She knew wherever she went, there were strangers waiting to become friends.

“After his devastating diagnosis of mesothelioma, Daniel created his motto for life, ‘Live Life Forward,’ and he did that with passion. He did it knowing his disease was terminal. He did it while taking chemotherapy. He skydived, traveled to Italy, and in 2016 became a marathon runner. He ran 15 full and half-marathons, which included the Houston-Galveston area, Austin, San Antonio as well as Big Sur in California. His chemotherapy sessions at MD Anderson Cancer Center connected him with strangers who all had a story to tell, and a need for encouragement. Daniel would listen to them, learn a bit about them, and even on the days when he wasn’t getting his own chemotherapy, he would return with gifts, give encouragement, and sit with those who were facing the biggest struggle of their lives. Daniel didn’t just speak about love, he lived it.”

— Susie Clevenger

The post Earring project helps keep couple’s story alive appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“We got married in 2014. He brought three kids into the marriage. Then we had one together. We share custody of the big kids with their mom. Sometimes we’re a big family of six, and sometimes it’s just the three of us.

“It was pretty scary at first. Most people have kids one by one. You get your sea legs as you go. But for me it was like, OK, where do I fit into this family that already exists?

“The best thing that could have happened is right before we moved in together, I was laid off. I didn’t work for 9-10 months. So while he taught summer school, it was just me and the kids. We spent a lot of time together. We went to the beach, played board games, watched movies. I credit that summer for the relationships we have now. I had the time to really get to know them.

“It’s been mostly joy. But there’s some heartache that comes with it. It can be a minefield. You don’t always know what you’re going to step on or step into. You don’t know what histories there are. I don’t know their mother. I don’t know what her feelings are going to be on things. So you just kind of do what you can and throw grace on top of it — lots and lots of grace. Especially on yourself when you make mistakes and put your foot in it. You say you’re sorry, and everybody groups together and keeps going.

“I was worried about how they would feel bringing a new baby into the family. I was crying like, ‘I don’t want you guys to think that I’ll love you any less. You made me a mom. You’ll be just as important to me after this baby is born as you were before.’ And they’ve been incredible. The dynamic between them and Lorelei is awesome. They absolutely adore her, and vice versa.

“I’m not sure everyone would agree, but I feel like I’m rocking a solid 7.5 so far. I don’t think I’m amazing, because I definitely have my faults. I’ve said more than my fair share of ‘I’m sorry, I screwed up, let’s try again.’ I think that’s parenting in general, though. Some days you’re like, ‘I must be the worst parent ever.’ And other days you’re like, ‘Oh, man, I’m killing it.’ But on average I’d say top 30%, doing pretty well.”

— Kristin Sickle

Related:

• ‘I’m scared as can be about him being back in school’

The post ‘Where do I fit into this family that already exists?’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When my ex-husband and I were deployed the first time to Afghanistan, my kids were separated. My oldest daughter stayed with my family and the twins were with his family. So they don’t have that normal sister bond. They didn’t really get a chance to know each other. There’s no real foundation there.

“That’s something I’m trying to develop. It’s challenging, since they live apart. The twins are with their father and his fiancé. They’re good people, and they have a stable home. My oldest wants to stay with me. But I’m still working on our relationship.

“When she was younger, I couldn’t even go to the store without her freaking out about me leaving. And I understand that. I had deployed twice. And even though she was only a few years old, she remembered. So with her, I think it’s more abandonment type issues that I’m working on. You know, just being there for her and loving her.

“What I tell my daughters is, ‘Your mother is strong.’ Dealing with the effects of war, time away from my children and a broken marriage taught me to be so strong. Honestly, I feel like nothing can break me. I tell them that they have that kind of strength coursing through their veins, too. So don’t back down from anything or anybody. Stand firm in your beliefs, and you’re going to succeed and get far in life.”

— Erica Salazar

After serving as an intelligence analyst in the Army, Erica earned a bachelor’s degree in national security studies. At the moment, she is teaching English as a second language online to children in China.

Related:

• Mom rebuilding relationships after military career

• A voice for women who endure abuse in the military

The post ‘Honestly, I feel like nothing can break me’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I was in construction pretty much all my life. I spent my final six years in Iraq, doing work to support the military. I went over there to get some extra money to build up for retirement. My wife stayed here. She went through a hurricane by herself. When I got a chance to talk to her on the phone, she told me, ‘We got a little roof damage.’ I didn’t realize it took the whole roof off and everything. But she took care of it by herself. Didn’t want to worry me.

“I came home two times during those six years. The third time was final. Near the end, I couldn’t wait to get back. We did a lot of things together for a while. Then you fall back into your routines. She takes care of a woman in Chambers County whose husband died. She stays with her three days at a time, or longer if they need her. And I like to get up in the morning and go riding. But we enjoy traveling together. We tent camp. We’ve got our national parks pass. We just got back from a trip through 22 states. We put about 8,000 miles on our car.

“A couple years ago, we went to the Smoky Mountains and all the way up into Pennsylvania. We would camp and hike for three days, then move on to the next place. When we got back home, she said, ‘You know, in the 30-some years that we’ve been married, we did more talking in those two weeks than we have in all our years of marriage.’ And she was right. There was nothing there but nature and us. We would sit down, take a break, and have some real good talks. That was nice.”

— Thomas Vargo

The post Husband and wife share connection while camping appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“We met online on a Christian chat. At the time, I had a dog that I loved that was sick. I was looking for somebody to pray for my puppy. He said, ‘I’ll pray with you.’ After that, we chatted online for about two months. Then we started talking on the phone. We never asked each other our age or anything. We fell in love.”

“I hadn’t asked her to marry me yet. But she had kind of an abusive thing going on in her home. I felt like I needed to get her out of harm’s way. So I flew to Georgia to get her. I took a wedding ring with me. On the way, I asked her, ‘By the way, how old are you?’ I was 60 at the time. She was 18. A few days after we got back to Texas, we got married in a ditch in front of Ellington Air Force Base while an air show was going on. Fake bombs exploding in the background and everything. The next day we left on a seven-day honeymoon cruise to the Caribbean.

“I’ve been married several times before, and I have six kids. Three or four of them went kind of crazy when I told them about us. They couldn’t accept Dad marrying an 18-year-old girl. A lot of people think I’m her daddy and stuff like that because we’re 42 years apart. But the age thing really doesn’t make any difference to us. Life’s life, you know? You’ve just got to grab it and live it your own way. 

“We’ve been married for over 11 years. We get along great. We don’t fuss. We don’t fight. We pray together. We eat together. We play together. It’s just one of those marriages made in heaven. But we’re here on earth. So it’s kind of like heaven on earth.”

— Suzie and Carl Beam

The post Despite age gap, it’s ‘a marriage made in heaven’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“Her name is Kaya. She’s a Bichon Frise. My dad taught her how to chase after the Frisbee. It’s too hard for her mouth, but she’ll run after it and bring it back. And if we throw soft tennis balls, she’ll jump up and catch them. She’s pretty athletic.”

How important is she to you?
“Oh, gosh. She’s my life. She cries when I’m not around. She’s pretty cool. I’ve had her six years. My boyfriend gave her to me. We’re not together anymore. So I definitely got the better end of that deal.”

— Alex Winters

The post Here’s a relationship that appears built to last appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I got married when I was 23. We stayed together for 10 years. But in the end, it just didn’t work out. Since then I’ve been in other relationships, but they haven’t worked out, either.

“After a while you get tired of bumping your head against the wall. So about four years ago, I decided to take a break. I took a step back and really focused on myself and looked within.

“One of the things I figured out was that I wanted someone to love me so bad, I didn’t take the time to sit back and determine, OK, is this really the person you want to be with? Is this really the relationship you should be in?

“I think I’ve learned from everything I’ve gone through. I think I’ve grown up a lot, both mentally and emotionally.”

Will you ever get married again?
“Maybe, one day. But I’m taking my time.”

— Priscilia Polius

Related:

• She finds great value in her mother’s life lessons

The post ‘I wanted someone to love me so bad’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I was married for about five years. We struggled a little bit at first. We didn’t make that much money, so we were dealing with the normal stress of bills. But once we got into the groove of things we eventually bought a home and we had new cars. It seemed like we had everything we needed. But we still were not 100 percent happy. He worked out of town a lot, so that put additional stress on our relationship.

“It felt like we became roommates. We just grew apart. We tried, but it just didn’t work out in the end. So we decided we would separate and divorce. It was amicable. And now he’s remarried and has a family. I’m happy for him. I’m glad that he found someone he could be happy with. We just weren’t happy.”

The post Hopeless romantic not soured on marriage appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When I started working at the plant, it seemed like guys were getting divorced left and right. And I’m thinking to myself, that isn’t going to be me. I’m not going to go through that. Sure enough, 10 years later, it happened.

“Sometimes I was working 16 to 22 hours at a time. The more I excelled at my job, the more responsibility I got. The money was good, but the time for my marriage and my family was not there. That was the final straw for my wife. My daughter was 8, so it was really tough seeing her go through the divorce.

“During that time, I isolated myself even more. I asked my supervisor for more hours because I didn’t know how to deal with it all. The best way I knew how was to work more and more. It’s almost like alcohol. You drink to numb the pain. Work was that numbing, that alcohol, for me at the time.

“I did get married again. We’re marking seven years next month. This time, when I found the right woman, we got counseling. That made all the difference.

“And it’s something that I do now. I continue working in the plant, but I’m also a pastor. I counsel couples and speak on the spiritual aspect of marriage. Looking back, it’s probably something I should have done for myself the first time around.”

— Michael Finn

The post When overwork causes marriage problems appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“Well, to be honest with you, my challenge is finding a respectful man in my life. I’m very picky. Very particular. I’m not argumentative, but I can be very stern and very hard sometimes. I don’t like being that hard, but that’s just me. So if I do find someone, I’ll try to work on that.

“I have dated, but I can’t find one to be obedient. It’s very hard for me to encounter a man that I can trust.

“I was a single mom for a long time. My children are older now. They’re happy and able to take care of themselves, so that’s a blessing.

“I’m still hopeful of finding someone. But as you get older, you become more settled in your life and you don’t necessarily want to be bothered with the how and the where, you know what I mean?”

— Stacey Ceasar

The post Finding the right man can be problematic appeared first on The Baytown Project.