“I’ll admit it. Growing up, I was a bully. Looking back on my elementary and middle school years, that’s disgusting. You can’t be proud of something like that.

“It probably had to do with my situation. There was only my mom to rely on for me and my four brothers. We lived place to place. We didn’t really have money to pay for clothes or shoes, or things like toys at Christmas.

“You feel bad about yourself. And when you’re so young, you’re not mature enough to understand that you’re supposed to be grateful for the things that you do have. So I would try to make other people feel smaller than me. I guess I felt like I needed to do anything to survive.

“I remember making fun of a guy because he wore the same outfit to school two or three days in a row. Of course, that was silly. I had been in that same situation because my mom couldn’t always afford laundry soap, or we didn’t have enough quarters to go the laundromat.

“Around freshman year in high school, I got sick and tired of feeling bad about myself. So I made a point of trying to compliment somebody every single day. Like, I wanted this girl to know that her makeup looked pretty. I wanted this guy to know that his shoes looked really cool. I wanted people to know that others noticed them.

“By doing that, it started making me feel better. Then, with the help of therapy, things started changing. I began building up my self-esteem, constantly reminding myself that I am worthy and that I can make a difference. It’s a new outlook on life.

“I’m not a bully anymore. But I will not hesitate to put someone in their place if need be.

“The golden rule that I stand by is to treat people the way you want to be treated. If someone happens to give me an attitude and I give them an attitude back, I will have to reset the next day.

“Overall, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I give them a second chance, or even a 42nd chance. It doesn’t always work out. But I keep trying.”

The post Former bully changes outlook on life appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I’m all about justice. If I see something that’s unfair, I feel like I need to make it right.

“In high school, there was this girl who was autistic. Not a lot of people knew it. They just thought she was some weirdo. I was a senior, and she was a freshman or sophomore. She was a skinny little thing, maybe 4-foot-10.

“One day at lunch, these guys threw her tray of food on the floor because she sat at their table. I got in their faces. I told them they shouldn’t be acting like that toward people, regardless of their situation in life. The principal got involved. He thanked me for sticking up for the girl, and the other two students got sent to in-school suspension.

“Then last year around Thanksgiving at the grocery store where I work, I tried to stand up for a co-worker. She’s a very nice person who never raises her voice, and she was getting yelled at by a customer. She’s about 5-foot-2, and this guy was about 6 foot and twice her size in weight.

“She was stocking sausages, and she had a pallet of stuff out there. He was complaining that he couldn’t reach the product that he wanted. He didn’t say, excuse me. He just got mad and started yelling at her. I saw it, and I stepped in. I got yelled at, too, so I yelled back. I kind of told him that she did nothing wrong. I ended up getting in trouble. I got written up for not following procedures.

“I try to treat everybody with kindness. If it doesn’t happen, and I go a little bit too far and act out of character, it’s probably for a good reason. I guess it’s because I’ve been wronged so many times in my own life. When there was no one there to stand up for me, I know what it was like to feel powerless and feel like nobody had my back. So I try to be that person for other people.”

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“I was attending University of Texas to become a P.E. teacher. It was during World War II, and the Navy had taken over the dormitories. There were thousands of good-looking sailors studying to be pilots or ship commanders.

“By the end of two years, I decided to go home to Huffman and rest a semester. It wasn’t the studying. I was just having way too much fun for a young girl.

“Because of the war, there was a shortage of teachers. When I arrived home, the pastor of First Baptist Church was teaching grades 4, 5 and 6. He was helping out until they could find someone. We lived next door to a board member who had known me for years. When I was offered the position, I became Miss Joy to 12 students who were together in one room. Two rows were fourth grade, one row was fifth grade, and there were three sixth-grade students.

“It was love at first sight between the teacher and pupils. I was only 19, and they were 10, 11 and 12 years old.

“One day I had them all read aloud. Then I said, ‘For the next 30 minutes, I want you to read silently.’ As I look up, there stands this little boy, Irby ‘Buddy’ May. I said, ‘Buddy, do I come back and lean on your desk while you’re working?’ He said, ‘No, mam.’ So I said, ‘Well, go sit down and do what I asked you to do.’ He starts back to his desk, turns around, and says, ‘But you could if you wanted to.’ He became my pet from that moment on.

“After finishing the school year and one more year, I returned to Austin to complete my degree and become a full-fledged teacher. I went on to a 33-year career as a P.E. teacher, and I loved every minute of it.

“But one of the happiest times of my life was teaching those 12 students in that classroom in Huffman. We kept up with each other through the years — especially Buddy. Just this April, I visited with him at an event in Huffman. Not long after that, he died. He was 85.

“As I was reading his obituary and all the wonderful things he had done in his life, I realized that had I not had those 12 wonderful children, I would never have stayed in education all those years. God blessed my life with 12 of his best.”

— Joy Walker, 96

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“During my 31 years teaching, it was always about my students. I loved my students.

“If they asked for advice, I gave it. I told them, ‘I’ll never lie to you. I’ll never expect you to do something that I wouldn’t do. If you have an issue, and I feel you’re right, I’ll go to the wall for you.’

“In a lot of ways, I was like a second mama to some of them. One student didn’t come from a really great household, so I was her safe space. I told her — and this is what I told all my kids — ‘Dream big, work hard, and you can accomplish anything.’ And she did. She’s married. She’s a successful elementary school teacher in Florida. And she wrote a book that’s on Amazon.

“I always made sure that I was available for the underdog. I had a student who was in special ed and was a football player. He had an opportunity to go to University of Houston, but a counselor told him, ‘You don’t need to go there. You won’t graduate anyway.’ When he told me that, it broke my heart. I looked at him and said, ‘OK, now is the time to prove her wrong.’ He graduated from high school, played football and graduated from U of H, and now he’s a patient liaison at UTMB. This was a kid that a counselor gave up on.

“There are a lot of kids out there who just need somebody to say, ‘Hey, I believe in you. You can do this.’

“When they’re preparing you to be a teacher, they don’t account for so many important aspects of the job. Like being in a classroom with 25-30 children, and figuring out what each individual need is. How you can work with a child who may be dyslexic, or from a broken home, or have a mom or daddy who just died. The compassion aspect is something that has to evolve.

“I always told my students, ‘If you make a bad decision, it does not define your life. Only you can do that. You can look at that decision and grow from it, or get bitter from it.’ I said, ‘You need to grow.’ I’m proud to say that so many of my students through the years grew from it.”

— Melanie Rayner

She taught government, economics, U.S. history, world history and world geography in three school districts, including 19 years at Lee High School.

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“In the early ‘90s, Central Heights was the type of neighborhood where you would get off the school bus, do your homework, and come to the park to play ball until the street lights came on. It was a tough neighborhood, with rivalries and occasional fights. Not the gun violence you see today. You would fight, take your licks, and get up to play again.

“You built mental toughness out here. It’s where I learned everything. There was a church next door. So those are probably the two biggest foundations for my life: church and the playground.

“There were elements of drug dealing and violence. But overall, this was a good place to grow up: good foundation, good principles, people helping each other.

“I was fortunate to have mentors. My dad exposed me to certain things, like opportunities to play sports. I had coaches and principals who looked out for me. They saw something in me, and gave me an extra push to help me out.

“But as I got into education, I began noticing things that were missing the mark. Things we weren’t teaching students. Like, no one ever sat me down and talked about finances: credit, the difference between rent and mortgage, ownership versus working for someone. No one ever showed me how a job application works. No one taught us etiquette, like how to open doors for someone. Everything I learned about dating was from my fellas, or watching my parents or other relationships. But there were no lessons or classes for it.

“One of my best friends from this neighborhood — talented athlete, smart, funny, good looking — died at a young age. I feel like the big thing missing for some of my friends who died or went to jail were the opportunities, the exposure.

“There are young people today with million dollar minds, but they have a small town mentality. They think they can’t do anything else. But you can. You can travel. You can come back and give back. There are so many opportunities available. But until you know, you don’t know. So I decided to do something about it.”

Heron launched the TIE program — Thomas Institute of Excellence — in 2018 as a way to mentor young men.

Showing them the way

“Everything we do in the TIE program is built on excellence, and a model of service before self. A big component is exposing these young men to all the opportunities available to them. We let them meet business owners, and give them the blueprint for what they can aspire to do with their lives.

“What I try to teach the kids that I didn’t get as a young child is the power of relationships. Everywhere we visit has either a tie to myself or the hometown community. Putting them in front of successful people who ran the same streets, hung out at the same parks, went to the same schools, shows them that, hey, you can do this, too. There’s nothing stopping you.

“We take trips. We do community service. We expose them to all types of experiences, like fine dining. We’ve had dinners at places like Del Frisco, Steak 48 and Taste Bar.

“And then just giving them opportunities to look good. A lot of these kids have never worn a nice shirt and tie. The effect they see when they dress up and walk into a place, the attention that turns on them, is awesome.

“They love pulling up to restaurants and seeing the nice vehicles, and enjoying nice meals. Not saying you have to live that type of lifestyle. I’m good eating off a food truck, but I do like a nice steak sometimes. But I know that if they aspire to be like that, we have to teach them now what it takes. You can’t wait until they’re 25 and struggling and say, you should have done this and that. We have to give them the ‘how’ and ‘why’ at an early age.

“Hopefully, the program will grow, and we’ll be able to be a blessing to more students. That’s really my goal: to be a positive influence for as many kids as possible. That’s all I really care about, giving kids an opportunity. When you know better, you do better.

“I just pray God continues to bless me, so I can continue to bless my community. This is home. This is where the seeds were planted. I consider everyone who comes from here just another branch on that family tree that I can help.”

Taking time to listen

Heron also is principal of the Eagle Positive Intervention Center in Barbers Hill ISD. The student-centered program focuses on academics, discipline and structure. Its mission is to provide an environment where students will recognize they have the ability to learn, add value and have worth.

“I feel like I have the best job on the planet. I just love it. I’m able to reach kids that a lot of people can’t reach. It’s always been my forte. I’m kind of like a child whisperer.

“It’s just being vulnerable and open to provide students an opportunity to be heard. Sometimes as adults, we want to force things on students without ever actually giving them the opportunity to speak. You have to see where they’re coming from. You have to be relatable. And they have to know that you care.

“My biggest thing is, I show up. When my kids need me, I’m there. I don’t care if it’s a sporting event or dance recital. Or it can be difficult situations with parents. I’m just going to show up.

“That’s the most important thing. Kids have to know that you care about them. Once they know I’ll show up in that way, they’ll do anything for you.”

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“There was a family that had four children at San Jacinto Elementary, including two with cerebral palsy. The parents were leasing a house to purchase. According to the contract, when they finally purchased the home, the slumlord would pay any back taxes. But he never did, and the city was going to foreclose on them.

“So I went directly to him and said, ‘You promised to do this. The city is going to foreclose. That’s just not fair.” And he was like, ‘You can’t come in here and talk to me that way. Who do you think you are?’ I said, ‘Well, sir, I’m just going to have to go to the media with this. Here’s two children with cerebral palsy, in wheelchairs, and they’re about to foreclose on their house. There’s no justice here.’ He said, ‘You do what you have to do.’

“So the next day, I went to city hall with the mom and the foreclosure notice. I asked them to explain what’s going on. They were like, ‘It’s not the family. It’s because this man is not paying. We have no choice but to foreclose.’ I said, ‘Do you know who this family is and what their situation is with their children?’ They did not.

“And as I began explaining, guess who walked in? The slumlord. He slammed down $5,000 to pay the back taxes. And as he was leaving, he said, ‘You’re never to step foot in my place of business again.’ The people at city hall were like, what’s happening? I said, ‘I just tried to convince him that we were working for the betterment of this family. I guess it finally got to him.’

“A few years later, one of the children with cerebral palsy died, and the family invited me to the funeral. That was not an easy thing, but these people mattered. And they cared for me because I had helped them.

“You know, we can’t just go to work 9 to 5 and make things all better. Sometimes we have to go that extra mile. We have to go to city hall. We have to go to the guy and put some fire under him to make a difference.”

— Natalia Guzman

As a Harris County youth service specialist for 17 years, Natalia worked with family involvement coordinators in Goose Creek CISD to address social, economic and academic needs of students.

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“Her name is Tutti. Like Tutti Frutti. She’s a Chinese Crested/Jack-A-Poo mix. When she was very young, the people who had her stepped on her. They said the kids were real mean to her. So we ended up taking her.

“She has luxating patellas. Her back legs are out of place because of it. The vet said it would be $2,500 a leg to fix, but I didn’t have the money at the time. So she’s had to adapt.

“She couldn’t walk the first year of her life. She would take a few steps and fall over. I had to carry her everywhere. She’s 4 1/2 now. She only walks so many steps before getting tired. Then she kind of bunny hops. But she’s not in pain or anything. She’s a good, happy little girl. And she’s spoiled rotten. She’s like my baby. When my daughter went off to college, Tutti was like a mini-replacement.

“My daughter and I are very close. I was a single mom. It was always just me and her. Then I got my husband when she was 12. She’s about to turn 24. She graduated from Baylor University, and now she’s in Baylor Law School. She’s thinking about doing environmental or immigration law.

“She’s overcome a lot in life. She has Asperger’s. I didn’t know for sure until her first year in high school, when a counselor mentioned it. It’s been challenging, but she hasn’t let it stop her. She’s extremely smart. She made straight A’s all through school. She graduated high school with lots of honors. She was in honor society in high school and college.

“I’m very proud of her accomplishments. But I’m even more proud of how she’s grown as a person. She cares about others. She wants to help people. All I ever wanted was for her to be a good person and to be successful in life.

“I was a high school dropout. I left after ninth grade. Just getting in trouble with my friends. No support at home. No aspirations in life. When I was 21 and had my daughter, I was determined that she would have a better life and do better than I did.

“She’s the first love of my life. This baby here is second. My husband may not like to hear that. But my children are special to me.”

— Rhonda

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“We lived in a house in Spring with no neighbors around us. We were there since I was born, so a good 16 years. It was me, my mom, my dad, a younger brother and a sister.

“We were renting from this company, and they shut down. All of a sudden, in the middle of my sophomore year at Klein High School, they told us we had to move out. My dad asked if we could wait until the summer so that we could finish the school year. Luckily, they agreed.

“We ended up moving to Dayton near my grandma. She has a lot of land, and she gave us like half an acre where we built a new home. It was a culture shock, moving away from my hometown, starting over at a much smaller high school, and living out in the country. I really missed the city and all the people I knew. One of them was a childhood friend, all the way from kindergarten until I left.

“Back in January, I was on the phone with someone. We were just playing games or whatever. It was really late, like 4 a.m. And I got this call from an unknown number. I answered, and it was the mom of my old friend. She wanted to let me know that he had committed suicide.

“It was such a shock. It came out of the blue. I had never heard of any problems he was having. I thought he was doing fine.

“It was pretty hard to deal with. It’s like, you feel so sad, and you don’t really want to do anything. You don’t want to go to school. You don’t want to go to work. You just want to stay in your room 24-7.

“Then one day I woke up, and I was just kind of talking to myself. I don’t remember exactly what I said. But it was like, ‘Hey, if you can hear me, know that I will never forget you. And I’ll do my best to impress you.’ So when it comes to work or college or anything else I’m involved in, that’s what I do. I try my best. I try my best.”

— Christopher Hernandez

Christopher is a freshman at Lee College. He is studying business, and he hopes to become an accountant.

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“My parents were immigrants from the tiny island of Saint Lucia. They came to Baytown in the late ‘70s. We were very poor. We lived in a trailer park. I was the last of three kids. My mom had a home birth, so I was born in our trailer.

“When I was growing up, materialism and your place in society — like how much money your parents made — was very important to some people. And if you didn’t measure up, they truly didn’t care to get to know you. Not because of anything you did, but they just didn’t want to be associated with you.

“I was being made fun of really bad, mostly in middle school and high school. No matter what I tried, nothing worked. They were not shy in telling me, ‘Oh, you’re always going to be poor. You’re never going to end up doing anything in life.’ And I would think, at that young age, how could you possibly know? The audacity of it all. I just couldn’t imagine.

“I was angry a lot. But I knew that once I was older and able to get away from that environment, things would get better. I thought, if I could just get to college, things would be different. And they were.

“I had a great college experience. I found folks who were interested in who I was as a person, and not how much money I made, what kind of clothes I wore, or how my hair looked.

“I earned my undergraduate degree and master’s degree in vocal performance. I started working and living in Houston. I created a path for myself as a professional singer. I didn’t forget about my past. But I did not let it weigh me down, because there weren’t people constantly in my life reminding me about it.

“It’s a shame that there are people who seem to thrive on feeling like they’re better than you. I don’t know if that’s something taught at home or what. I just wish the people who bully were a little more understanding. I wish they made an effort to know someone for who they are and not for what they may be lacking.”

— Julie Jackson

One of the people Julie met in college was her husband, Ali, a professional tuba player and teacher. Learn more about Julie, the singer.

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The post She overcomes bullying to prove others wrong appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I worked for a while at the hospital as a CNA [certified nursing assistant]. When I had my youngest son, I started staying home. I was working 12-hour shifts. But I decided that him being successful was more important. I wanted to make sure he stayed on the right path throughout school. I wanted to keep him from drifting off into doing bad things. I felt as long as I was able to stay on him and keep him occupied, like playing sports, it would be better than some kid out there doing mischievous things and getting into trouble.

“I had just been through it with my older son. He had a few problems. He kind of stepped off into the wrong direction. He ended up doing a little time. But he’s changed his direction and his ways. He’s doing OK now. My daughter’s also doing well. She had her first baby, who’s 8 months old and very spoiled. I’m extremely proud of my kids.

“I went through some challenging times, overcoming drugs and being an addict. The turning point was when my best friend for years was murdered. It was a case of wrong place, wrong time. He was walking away from a situation, and they shot him four times. It was a life-changing moment. I figured that could easily have been me. I’ve been sober for five years now. It’s a struggle every day. My kids are what keep me going.

“My youngest son lives with his dad. He was in high school when we separated. Because I didn’t want to disturb his stability, I told him he should stay with his dad. He was pretty upset.

“But he’s a senior now. He’s a very smart kid. And he loves football. He’s played it all his life. He’s hoping to get a college scholarship. He’s got some scouts looking at him. He wants to be able to play on Saturdays. After that, he wants to play on Sundays in the NFL. He’s really motivated.

“While I’ve made some mistakes along the way, I’ve never regretted leaving that nursing job. If I didn’t, my son might not be in the position he’s in today.”

— Rachel Rayon

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