“Growing up, there was a lot of chaos and turmoil in my home. I had two drug-addicted parents. And when I was 8, my mom started dealing drugs. People were coming and going. There were a lot of unsafe activities. There was alcohol. There was physical and other abuse. It was just an insanely unhealthy situation.

“But I was determined to have a good life. Whether they were passed out on the couch or whatever, it wasn’t going to affect my day. I kind of had to be the sun, moon and stars for myself. I had to be the author of my own life. I realized that if I didn’t make happiness for myself, then I’d be sitting in my room crying and miserable all the time.

“I tried my best to self-isolate or disassociate. I was doing a lot of escapism. I loved anything fantasy. I was a really smart kid, and I loved reading books. I loved writing stories. I also rode my bike a lot. Whatever it took to make sure I had a good time, despite what was going on around me. My sister was several years older, but she wasn’t really hands on with me. So I was pretty independent.

“When I was nearly 12, my mom seemed ready to stop doing drugs and turn over a new leaf. That was great. I was happy for her. But then she had herself a last hurrah, and she overdosed. She didn’t make it. I was devastated. Despite everything that had been going on for years, I loved my mom very much. Even though she was not awesome to me, I still thought the world of her. I was the kind of person who tried to make everything seem better than it really was.

“A few days after the funeral, without my knowledge, my father signed over his rights to me to my grandfather. And he left, just took off. I was pretty upset. I thought for sure that my mom’s death was going to be his wake-up call. That we were going to be OK. We were going to try to be normal people now. But that wasn’t the case.

Turning to drugs

“After I started living with my grandparents, my grandmother had a big stroke. I was helping take care of her. And because of my mom’s death, they all told me that she shouldn’t be under any more stress. So I was never really able to grieve. I had to swallow all that. I was so angry and lonely. It’s no excuse, but it’s kind of what led me down the path of doing drugs to numb those feelings

“As a high school freshman, I was falling off badly. I couldn’t see how anything was worth being sober for. I was doing any substance I could get my hands on. I was really addicted to certain prescription pills in my high school years. I wasn’t going to class. I was way behind on my credits. By my senior year, they put me in alternative school. The principal was like, ‘You need to get this under control.’ And I did buckle down and even finished early. You couldn’t tell me a damn thing. I was still on drugs, and I felt like a million bucks. I felt unstoppable

“I decided to do graduation huge. So I got a hotel room and stayed there for about three months. All my friends were with me. It was always a party. But when the end of summer came, everyone left.

“My lowest point came while lying on the hotel room bed after taking I don’t even know how many pills. I told myself if I overdosed that night, it wouldn’t even matter. Maybe I’d go where my mom went, and I wouldn’t hurt anymore. I started feeling like my heart was slowing down, and then I kind of faded. I was so accepting of, ‘I’m dying.’ But I woke up the next morning. And the heartbreak that I felt, realizing that I hadn’t died, was unbelievably heavy. I wanted to hang myself.

“Then I started thinking about when I was a kid, how I told myself that if nobody ever made the happiness, it was up to me. I felt that I’d let myself down because I hadn’t made any happiness for myself in a really long time. That’s when I decided to leave the hotel room, go home to my grandparents, and start making some changes.

‘These kids are awesome’

“At 18, I began a relationship with my now husband, Kory. We’d been best friends forever. We had our ups and downs, and when I was 20, I had a miscarriage. I’d told myself if I ever got the chance to be a mom, I’d make sure I had a normal family. So that rocked me really hard. It left me heartbroken.

“A few months after that, I got pregnant again, and we had our first biological son together. That put everything into perspective. Feeling the love of a child and for a child was groundbreaking. When he was about 9 months old, I learned that I was pregnant again. And I started to feel this dread. What if I can’t love this new child as much as my other one? I thought my love for my first son and my older stepson was enough.

“Then one day I told myself, this is going to be my mom’s baby. Even though my mom was very tan, my older sister had blue eyes and almost blonde hair, light skin. They told her, whenever you have a second child, it’s probably going to be a boy. She started fantasizing about having this angelic, blue-eyed, almost blonde-haired, light-complected little boy. Then here I come with tan skin, brown eyes, dark hair. Anyway, I told my husband that this was going to be my mom’s baby. I was sure it was going to be a boy with blue eyes. I woke up the next day with this sense of knowing, this peace. And sure enough, he was born exactly how I pictured.

“These kids are awesome. Our oldest will be 14 in February. Our middle son just turned 9 and our youngest is 7. I love all my children, but the youngest definitely holds a special place in my heart. He reminds me so much of my mom.

“Even though life was extremely difficult when I was young, with my mom on drugs and not always around, I loved her very much. So with my youngest, I’ve always had this sense of familiarity that I felt for my mom. Maybe I just dreamed the whole thing up. But I’ll embrace it. I feel like I deserve every single bit of magic there is.

Unwelcome health scares

“Four years ago, my husband was driving us home from Austin, and I started to feel weird. I was getting a headache, and my vision was getting fuzzy. I didn’t want to overreact. I was going to try to sleep the rest of the way.

“When we got home, I sluggishly walked into the house and basically passed out on my bed. I woke up the next day, opened my eyes, and there’s this big blind spot in my vision. I still had this splitting headache. And I’m like, what the hell is happening? I spent a lot of time with my grandmother after several strokes. I saw the symptoms present in her, but nothing like this. So I immediately put stroke out of my head.

“I was in the hospital a week, doing every test possible. They didn’t know what was going on. Until I got the CT scans back. Guess what? I had a damn stroke. I was beside myself. Here I was, 26 years old, and I’m like, what the hell? They have to give me medicine to calm me down.

“Then they do an ultrasound, and they find out that I have a hole in my heart. In rare cases, it can send a blood clot to your brain and cause a stroke. And I’m like, this cannot be happening to me. Haven’t I had enough bullshit in my life?

“I had been doing everything right around that time. I was hiking with my kids, eating right, drinking plenty of water. I was angry about the whole thing. It seemed so unfair. I’d been through so much already in my life, so I didn’t want anymore. Like, whoever has my voodoo doll, you can stop now.

“It happened during COVID. So I couldn’t have visitors. I was losing my mind because I’m away from my kids, my babies, who are extremely attached to me. I felt very isolated and stressed out. I had all these breakdowns, but then I started having breakthroughs. I was like, OK, I’m going to come out of here bigger and better. Nothing can stop me. I’m actually a tsunami. And it was because of my love for plants and gardening. I had big ideas that I was determined to make happen.

Gardening therapy

“Before my stroke, I had discovered a love for gardening. I found solace in plants, a purpose and sense of reward. I started collecting succulents, and I was having a whole lot of fun with it. It was very therapeutic. I was making breakthroughs without having to go to a therapist.

“I started to sell a few plants here and there through social media. Then I decided that I was going to make it into a little side business. It would allow me to stay flexible with the kids and do something for myself. So I set up a plant page on Instagram.

“Our family has deep roots in Baytown, and I wanted to find a way to connect with my community. I wanted everyone to love plants and gardening as much as I do. While I was in the hospital, I started focusing on what I’d do when I got out. I had this extensive knowledge from researching and working with these plants. And I’m like, I could teach people all about it. That’s what I’m going to do.

“Since then, I’ve done a lot. I’ve taught plant classes for little kids at daycares. I was blessed with an opportunity to work with students at an elementary school in La Porte. I’ve done countless classes for adults. I’m a regular at Baytown’s farmers market, and I plan to start going to the one in Mont Belvieu. It’s all about succulents. And I’m having a blast. Hopefully, making a difference in people’s lives.

“Looking back on everything that’s happened in my life, where I’ve been and where I am now, I feel this overwhelming sense of happiness, this sense of magic. Just knowing that I can do whatever I want to do. Overcoming adversity in every possible way. From drug-addicted parents to being a drug addict myself, to having a stroke, and permanently losing some of my vision. To having a husband, kids, and being able to be a loving person despite what I’ve gone through. I’ve never let anything stop me from doing what I want.

“I’m going to write a book about my life one day. It’s going to be fantastic. Just watch. I can’t wait.”

— Felicia Garcia

The post Magical life blooms after challenging start appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“One of my duties at work was to create ID badges for all the employees. They had to be renewed on everyone’s birthday. When Juan came to see me, I made his ID and we flirted a little bit.

“Afterward, I jokingly said to my assistant, ‘Oh, my gosh. Tell him that I would rock his world.’ It was a ‘90s thing back then. I was really just joking. But she went and told him, and came back with his phone number.

“He and I talked five or six hours that night. We went out that Friday. Then after three weeks of going out, spending all that time together, he proposed. We made plans really quick. We got married three months later.

“It was pretty much a fairy tale marriage. Everybody would comment on how he’d walk into a room, and his face would light up to see me. They were like, ‘You could be a stranger in the room and know that you were his mate.’

“My husband was a total gentleman, too. I took care of the household. He did a lot of the outdoor stuff. He didn’t want me to do any yard work. I’d be like, ‘Let me help you with the weeds, then we can be finished sooner.’ And he’d say, ‘No, I don’t want you sweating. You go inside and sit pretty.’ People used to laugh about it. But that’s just the type of relationship we had for 20 years.”

Difficult decision

“My first pregnancy, I was having twins. At seven months, I got sick and had to go into the hospital. I spent about five days in labor. They were trying to stop it, but they couldn’t. So I had an emergency C-section. The boys were born premie. One was 3.4 pounds. The other was 4.6 pounds.

“The first born, Aaron, got sick a week later. His intestines weren’t fully developed. They were kind of perforated and causing problems. So they did surgery and took out a third of his colon, I guess with the hope of him having a normal life. It didn’t work.

“A week later, we had to make the decision to take him off life support. But the thing is, he continued to live another week after that. And that was brutal. When they asked us to make the decision, they didn’t expect him to live long. So during that week after, we questioned ourselves so much. Did we make the right choice?

“I revisit his grave from time to time. I went on Mother’s Day to clean his headstone.

“The other twin, Abel, will be 26 in July. You know how they say that twins have a special connection? Definitely, when he was younger, he would cry a lot. Even though he never really got to meet his brother, he would say that he missed him. Because it was this missing piece for him.

“He’s high-functioning autistic. He has Asperger’s. So he’s fully functional to a certain extent. I look at Abel daily, and can’t help but wonder what Aaron would have been like. What would he be interested in? What would his personality be like? It’s tough for me, no matter how much time passes.”

Another son, Chris, will be 22 in September.

No ordinary day

“Juan was a service technician for gas stations in the Houston area. He fixed the gas pumps, the price signs, the cash registers. Basically, all the electronics that needed attention.

“Our normal routine was to text each other around 10 a.m. Every couple hours, we would communicate. He would check on me, and see how my day was going. At noon, during my lunch hour, we’d have a phone conversation.

“Well, on this particular day, his speech started slurring. He said, ‘Something’s wrong.’ I could tell in his voice. Then he said, ‘I can’t see. I’m getting dizzy. I have ringing in my ears. I’m having trouble breathing. I don’t think I can drive.’ Just all these things.

“I told him to pull over and call 911. After a few minutes, I called him back. He hadn’t called 911. He was struggling to drive, and his speech had gotten worse. I couldn’t understand a word.

“So I called 911. I work in La Porte, and my call got routed to Deer Park Police. We were on a three-way, trying to figure out where he was so they could send help. They pinged his phone and got a general area. They dispatched police, fire, ambulance and even tow trucks to look for him. They circled for about an hour.

“Imagine your loved one dying, and you’re on the other end of the phone listening to him struggle. You’re desperately praying and reassuring him that they would find him.

“I finally thought about calling his supervisor. I forgot they used a tracker on their trucks, to see who’s closest for service calls. A few minutes after that, they found him.

“A police officer was the first to arrive. He grabbed his phone and said, ‘It appears your husband had a stroke. I’ll call you back after EMS gets here and assesses him.’

“When I learned what hospital they were taking him to, I told my boss, ‘I have to go. It looks like Juan had a stroke.’ While I was leaving, I called my church. I asked for prayers.”

Juan had a major hemorrhage in his brain stem. After many ups and downs in his recovery, he passed away about six weeks later on April 12, 2015, at age 44. It was two weeks before his oldest son’s high school graduation.

Family still grieving

“I don’t like it when people say, ‘God doesn’t give you more than what you can handle.’ I’m like, OK, I guess I’m Wonder Woman then. I must be so powerful. It hasn’t been easy. I have good days. I have bad days.

“I try to make light of things every day. I laugh. After Juan passed away, I used a lot of widow humor. Some people didn’t like that. I guess it was just my way of coping.

“It’s been really hard with my kids. They lost their best friend, too. He was that dad who was there for them the whole time. To watch them struggle throughout that experience was very difficult.

“They were 18 and 14 when he died. I had to work a lot of hours, so they spent a lot of time alone. They missed out on a lot. But I didn’t have a choice. I had to work.

“We all needed each other’s comfort. Everyone goes through grieving at different times and in different ways. One can go through the anger phase, while the other may just want to hide away and not deal with anything. Seven years later, we’re still dealing with it.

“I was doing pretty well at five years out. But then my best friend of 40 years was a victim of domestic violence. She and her daughter were killed. That set me back again.

“About 10 months after Juan died, his brother told me something. While he was sick, Juan told him to make sure that I moved on. I kind of felt like he gave me his blessing. Not that I was looking for it at that time. But at least I knew it was a possibility, and that he was thinking ahead for me.

“I make fun of my singleness, my singlehood, just because people will say, ‘You’re a real good catch.’ That doesn’t mean anything. That doesn’t mean you’re going to find your soulmate again. Not saying that I won’t. I’ve dated. But I’ve learned that you never know what the future holds.

“My boys are great. They tell me, ‘Mom, we just want you to be happy. We don’t want another dad. We just want another best friend.’”

— Brenda Medina

The post She’s suffered her share of tragic losses appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I was really young when I had my boys. I got pregnant at 12, and I was 15 when I had the second one. Basically, I was raising my babies while I was still a baby. I raised them while going to school. It was pretty damn tough. But I think I did a good job.

“We have a whole library at home, and I read every single book to them. We had encyclopedias, and every day I would tell them to learn a new word, that they would probably need to know it one day. I’ve always loved to study and to learn. I tried to teach them that knowledge is the most important thing. It’s something that nobody can ever take away from you. Just read and learn as much as you can, from anybody.

“I’m so proud of my boys. My youngest one is 15 and my oldest is 18. He graduated with honors from Lee High School, in the top 10%, and he’s going to UTI [Universal Technical Institute]. He has big plans. He wants to retire when he’s really young. He says, ‘Mom, I’m going to give you the life that you deserve.’

“While it was really challenging raising my boys on my own, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in the world. It’s so sad to see little kids being taken away from parents or parents giving up their kids. Like, you gave birth to that child. How can you give up so easily?

“I didn’t give up. And look what great young men my boys have turned out to be. I couldn’t be more proud of them. And I’m proud of myself. For being 31, I think I’ve accomplished a lot.”

— Brenda Avila

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• She continues her mother’s life lessons

The post Young mother proud of sons and herself appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“It’s a 1966 Impala. My great-granddad, who lived in Waco at the time, drove to Dallas and bought it from Johnson Chevrolet at the end of 1965. He went up there to buy a Caprice, which was more of a luxury car. But when he saw this, he fell in love with the muscle.

“He wanted to keep the miles off the engine driving it back home, so he paid to have it towed. The whole family was excited about the brand new car. It was like a parade coming home. Everybody was there. It was their first major car because back then, it was all trucks for farm use.

“When great-granddad died, he passed it along to my granddad. Then granddad passed it to my father. Now I’ve got it. Everything on this car is original except the battery and engine. I still have the original engine at the house. It’s a 283, and it runs fine. I just like to go faster, so we put a 396 in there. It moves pretty quick.

“The family drove this car until the late 70s. Then it just got parked in the garage, and nobody touched it. I started spending a lot more time with granddad when I was in college. I rebuilt the engine, the original 283 inside his garage, and got it running again. It’s been going ever since.

“It’s priceless. Had a guy offer $45,000 for it a few weeks ago. Sorry. You can’t put a price on my whole family having been in this car. It’s a beautiful thing.

“There’s a song by Lee Brice, ‘I Drive Your Truck,’ about driving around after his dad passes. It’s about reminiscing on certain things. And that’s how this is for me. When I drive it, I can feel them sitting right next to me. When I go around corners, I’ve got my granddad yelling at me and my dad cheering me on. It just feels good.

“My wife is pregnant now. This will be our first. Don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl. But when our child is old enough, this will be the car that he or she uses to learn how to drive. Keep that family tradition going. Can’t wait.”

— Tyler Huber

The post Family keeps Chevy Impala tradition going appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“After everything is over, it really starts to sink in. Then everybody forgets about you. They forget that your baby died. And that’s when it’s really hard. People just kind of move on. Obviously, your loved ones care. But there’s this pain that’s just yours.

“At some point you’re faced with deciding, what are you going to do now that you’ve lost a child? Are you going to live differently? We went through this existential crisis. How is it going to affect how we live now? How are we going to proceed with our lives? And how are we going to honor Oliver’s memory? One year later, those are things we’re still working on. Right now, I still don’t have a good answer.

“I guess if we learned anything from this whole experience, it’s that we are healthy and we don’t have anything to complain about. So why not choose to be happy? I mean, what good does it do to just sulk and sit in a corner and cry? It does me no good to just sit here and think about the baby I lost, if I have these two other babies who are being ignored by their parents.

“On a tough day at work, we may come home and just crash on the couch and watch TV. But then these other babies who are here, alive and healthy, what are we doing for them? So we’ve been trying to do more activities together as a family. We’re trying to give them the best life possible. That doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten about Oliver. That will never happen.

“I’m just thankful that on a few of Oliver’s rare good days in the hospital, Archer got to hold him. He would touch him and caress him and kiss him. And when Oliver was dying, when he was in really bad shape, they finally let Judah in to see him. Obviously, it was not the Oliver that I wanted him to meet, when he was really swollen and hooked up to all these machines. But at least we did get to introduce him to Oliver, and he did get to interact with him.

“So they both know they had a baby brother. As we move into the future and they grow up, that’s something I don’t want them ever to forget.”

— Marilyn Heredia

Oliver was born on March 20, 2019. He passed away on June 14, 2019.

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The post Family faced with life after son’s death appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“About two years ago, I decided to go get my bachelor’s degree in special education. I thought it was a good match for me and where my heart is for these kids. But I wouldn’t have done it if not for my youngest son.

“When he was a baby, he was so hard to deal with. He was so extreme. I was just pulling my hair out. I didn’t know what to do. But I remember reading something that said, these are the ones who are going to go after what they want with the most passion.

“When he was in high school, there were so many things going on in our lives. It was me and my three children on my one income. We were really struggling as a family. So I wasn’t on the ball with trying to get him into all the college stuff. He was doing it under the radar, though. He was applying everywhere, doing everything he needed.

“When I finally realized it, I thought, man, if he can do that at his age with all this happening in our lives, why can’t I go back? I always thought I was too old to go back to college, and that I couldn’t get the financial aid I would need. But he really inspired me. I ended up trying, and I got financial aid. I got scholarships. And I was just overwhelmed.

“I told my son that he’s the one who inspired me. He kind of blew it off like, oh mom. All you had to do was just do it. It was like no big deal to him. But he has no idea how proud I am of him. The same goes for my oldest son and my daughter. They have no idea how proud I am of all of them. If I can do anything in life to make them proud of me, that’s all I want.”

— Darlene Houseman

Darlene, 56, is an inclusion paraprofessional in the special education department at Travis Elementary. She attends Western Governors University online.

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• She has a heart for special education students

The post Son inspires her to pursue college degree appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“He’s 8 months old, and he never cries. He’s just happy all the time, smiling and playing around.

“I’m lucky. Normally babies cry for everything, for no reason sometimes. The only time he cried is when he fell, because he’s starting to stand up now.

“I have three more boys. They’re 14, 11 and 9. We tried for a baby girl this time, but we’re happy with him. I think four is enough, though.

“They’re all good boys. They do well in school. They have good attitudes. I couldn’t ask for better boys.”

— Melly Rendon

The post Four sons keep mom busy and happy appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“When I was 12 years old my daddy said to me and my two brothers, ‘Boys, you may never go to college. You may never even get out of high school. But by the time you walk out of this house, you’re going to have a trade.’

“By the time I was 15, I could run pretty much any piece of dirt equipment or crane, do survey work, you name it. We got one week off when summer started and one week at the end of summer before going back to school. The rest of the time we worked. We paid rent and we bought our own school clothes. That’s just the way my daddy wanted it to be. It’s just the way it was.

“He had a big old hand. He wore a size 18 ring. They had to take two rings to make his wedding band. So when he put that thing upside your head, it didn’t take but a couple of times for you to pay attention.

“But he was right. We learned a trade. And all three of us were real lucky because through the years, we were never out of work.”

— Ben Davis

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• Lifetime pattern finally takes mirror twins’ lives

The post Father taught his three sons the value of hard work appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“Before all of this, I had a miscarriage. Then they told me I was miscarrying again. They said, ‘You’re about to lose this pregnancy, too.’ So we waited and waited, but nothing happened. I had an ultrasound to see what was going on, and there were twins in there and they were perfectly healthy. I just couldn’t believe it. I was in shock to go from thinking something’s probably wrong to learning it was twins.

“I had wanted another one, and he came right before the twins started kindergarten. They’re typical boys. They’re really adventurous. But they love having a little brother. They’re so sweet with him. They’re always telling him he’s so cute. They even tell him not to grow up anymore. It’s so funny.”

— Christy Eaton

The post It’s no baseball team, but three boys keep them busy appeared first on The Baytown Project.

“I’m here with my son and grandson. We’re showing him how to catch crabs.”

Do you have other children?
“I have two others. One is deceased. I lost him in 2000 when he was 21. He got in a car with the wrong person. It was a guy showing off in a sports car. He was doing 130 miles an hour on a two-lane blacktop out in the country. He lost control and went into a pine tree. My son was the only person killed. The other passenger was crippled for life. I had the driver prosecuted for manslaughter. He was convicted. He’s out now. But the message is that anybody who breaks the law like that, they should be prosecuted. Anyhow, I did.”

Do you remain bitter about what happened?
“No. You just come to terms with it. It’s just like anything in life. You just tolerate it and push on.”

— Pat O’Bryant

The post Son’s death — ‘You just tolerate it and push on’ appeared first on The Baytown Project.