She works to keep her daughter’s memory alive
Crystal Ortiz with her son, Jordan, at her daughter’s gravesite.
“Sometimes it gets really awkward, especially when someone asks how many kids you have and you’re not quite sure how to answer. Normally I say, well, I have my 7-year-old son and I have my daughter in heaven. That usually either ends the conversation or opens it up to the person asking what happened?
“Our goal is to keep her memory alive and to help people try to come to peace with their new reality. Because you do become a totally different person.
“We’ve had a really hard time with it. This month is especially difficult because it’s a year and a half since my daughter passed. You see other little girls who are about that age, and you start wondering what she would be doing right now.
“But we’re past the anger. Before, I sometimes wanted to hate everyone who has kids or everyone who doesn’t have any pregnancy issues. But that was just making my depression worse, and I was finally able to let it go and able to return to church.
“I had said some pretty awful things toward God like, why me, why us, why her? That’s the easiest person to blame when you’re in a situation like that. But we’re finally getting back to church. I cry every time I’m there, the whole time. But I’m there and able to be OK with being there. Before, I would just get angry and leave.”
— Crystal Ortiz
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