She’s a calming influence for husband with PTSD

“My husband was in the Army for 13 years. During that time he was in Afghanistan for 12 months doing field artillery, providing cover for special forces on the border of Pakistan. He also was in Iraq for 15 months, and was like a police officer going door to door checking for guns, watching for IEDs and things like that. So he was in the thick of it all.

“He came out pretty well, considering, but he’s dealt with PTSD. He’s had episodes where he kind of zones out. Even something like the weather or a certain smell can make him feel like he’s back in Iraq.

“When it’s happening, I pretty much try to hide it from others. One time we were walking, and it was like he was totally not even there. So I was holding his hand and saying hi to people for him.

“It’s been a team effort. I’ve been able to calm him down, and he’s worked on it himself. I think God gave us personalities that go together. He’s very outgoing and friendly, and I’m the calmer one. He needs that calming person. Especially in crowds, that’s when he can get overwhelmed.

“When people try to blow off PTSD, like how you should be able to easily fix that, it kind of makes me mad. You can’t just fix it. I mean, if you were shot at for that many months of your life, you would never be able to just say, oh, it’s not going to happen again. You can’t just forget that a car had a bomb in it. When you’re driving down a road in the United States, there are times you’re naturally going to think about it. If he’s experiencing something like that, I just try to be more of a calming influence in his life than to try to say anything that will change it.”

— Sheila Billings