‘Sometimes I don’t feel like a real man, but I am’

“I don’t like to talk about it. It happened 15 years and a couple months ago, and it’s still depressing. Sometimes I don’t feel like a real man. But I am. I just have no desire to be with a woman. It’s been almost 10 years since I’ve been with anyone. Some women think us men can’t go without. That’s a lie. I’m living proof.

“I’ve had three prosthetic legs. My older sister bought me the last one. Before it was made, the guy said that for an additional $500 I would be able to maybe even jog a little bit. I was so excited to get it. He handed me the leg in the parking lot of a McDonald’s in the heat. It should have been done in his office. I’m very irate with the guy who made it. My cousin is suing the pants off him because I could only wear it for two days. It created a blister the size of a golf ball, then three others. It swole up really big. I treated it myself. But because I’m not able to wear that leg, I’m back in a wheelchair. It’s been four years.

“I’ve had phantom pain for over 15 years. My brain still sends signals to the nerves, muscles, and tendons in the flesh that was amputated. It’s very painful. But I don’t take narcotics for it. I’ve seen what they can do to people. I’ll suffer before I ever do that.”

— Ricky