‘Where do I fit into this family that already exists?’
“We got married in 2014. He brought three kids into the marriage. Then we had one together. We share custody of the big kids with their mom. Sometimes we’re a big family of six, and sometimes it’s just the three of us.
“It was pretty scary at first. Most people have kids one by one. You get your sea legs as you go. But for me it was like, OK, where do I fit into this family that already exists?
“The best thing that could have happened is right before we moved in together, I was laid off. I didn’t work for 9-10 months. So while he taught summer school, it was just me and the kids. We spent a lot of time together. We went to the beach, played board games, watched movies. I credit that summer for the relationships we have now. I had the time to really get to know them.
“It’s been mostly joy. But there’s some heartache that comes with it. It can be a minefield. You don’t always know what you’re going to step on or step into. You don’t know what histories there are. I don’t know their mother. I don’t know what her feelings are going to be on things. So you just kind of do what you can and throw grace on top of it — lots and lots of grace. Especially on yourself when you make mistakes and put your foot in it. You say you’re sorry, and everybody groups together and keeps going.
“I was worried about how they would feel bringing a new baby into the family. I was crying like, ‘I don’t want you guys to think that I’ll love you any less. You made me a mom. You’ll be just as important to me after this baby is born as you were before.’ And they’ve been incredible. The dynamic between them and Lorelei is awesome. They absolutely adore her, and vice versa.
“I’m not sure everyone would agree, but I feel like I’m rocking a solid 7.5 so far. I don’t think I’m amazing, because I definitely have my faults. I’ve said more than my fair share of ‘I’m sorry, I screwed up, let’s try again.’ I think that’s parenting in general, though. Some days you’re like, ‘I must be the worst parent ever.’ And other days you’re like, ‘Oh, man, I’m killing it.’ But on average I’d say top 30%, doing pretty well.”
— Kristin Sickle
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