She’s bald, beautiful and no longer ashamed
“I actually said to my mom the other day, ‘I will state for the record, I’m glad I don’t have hair.’ And I wasn’t lying. With all this rain? Come on. Also, having been ill all friggin’ summer — I’m still working on recovering my strength — I had 0.000 energy to deal with hair. There were days when brushing my teeth was a difficult task. No energy whatsoever. If I had hair, it would have been a rat’s nest and needed shaving off anyway.
“So this month is Alopecia Awareness Month. It’s been four years since my lovely dirty blonde hair decided to say ‘sayonara’ to my scalp. I cried and cried when it happened. For a year and a half I wore wigs to hide it. Especially when I had to give presentations at work or facilitate and attend meetings. It was fun for a while because I had different hair styles and even hair colors. But I wasn’t doing it for fun. I was ashamed of my appearance. I also have a child-sized cranium, and children’s wigs do not translate well for a grown woman. Seriously.
“Then, for another year I gave up the wigs and wore head wraps every time I was in public. I’ve gotten pretty good at tying those. I still like to wear them and beanies, hats, etc., because they’re fun. Also, my head gets cold all the time. But now, I don’t feel the need to hide under them because I’m ashamed.
“The game changer for me was when I went on a trip to Australia nearly a year ago. I had nothing to lose. I was among strangers, so I wasn’t afraid to show my bald head. I still wore head wraps and a hat when I was on adventures because, well, sun and sweat. It’s hot in Oz, y’all. But I met some awesome people and a group of women who were badasses. I got to be my own brand of badass with my baldie self.
“When I got home I thought, ‘If you can do that with strangers on the other side of the damn world, you can do it here at home.’ Now, I’m rocking my noggin all the time. With lots of sun screen, because my skin is a nice lily-white to transparent complexion. Yes, I’ve been called Powder. If you’ve seen that movie, you know how special Powder was. So, yeah, go ahead and call me Powder!
“I think it’s important to talk about alopecia and hair loss. It’s a very emotional thing to go through for anyone, male or female. Kids, too. I still get people stopping me all the time to talk to me about cancer. Many times I tell them that I am a kidney cancer survivor. Almost 10 years now! But this is from my autoimmune illness that caused the hair loss. Many times that throws people for a loop. But I’m no longer afraid to talk about it, and I get a chance to briefly share my story.
“Just remember that when you see someone with no hair, don’t assume it’s from chemo or treatment.
“And I guess when I sang ‘I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair,’ I took it to the extreme. To that I say, hell, yeah, I did!”
— Cynthia Dawn Clevenger
(Note: Cynthia Dawn Clevenger passed away on Jan. 26, 2022.)
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