When overwork causes marriage problems

Michael Finn moved to this area from St. Croix in 1994.

“When I started working at the plant, it seemed like guys were getting divorced left and right. And I’m thinking to myself, that isn’t going to be me. I’m not going to go through that. Sure enough, 10 years later, it happened.

“Sometimes I was working 16 to 22 hours at a time. The more I excelled at my job, the more responsibility I got. The money was good, but the time for my marriage and my family was not there. That was the final straw for my wife. My daughter was 8, so it was really tough seeing her go through the divorce.

“During that time, I isolated myself even more. I asked my supervisor for more hours because I didn’t know how to deal with it all. The best way I knew how was to work more and more. It’s almost like alcohol. You drink to numb the pain. Work was that numbing, that alcohol, for me at the time.

“I did get married again. We’re marking seven years next month. This time, when I found the right woman, we got counseling. That made all the difference.

“And it’s something that I do now. I continue working in the plant, but I’m also a pastor. I counsel couples and speak on the spiritual aspect of marriage. Looking back, it’s probably something I should have done for myself the first time around.”

— Michael Finn