When suicide leads to the blame game

“Anytime I hear about a suicide, it really cuts me deep. Because I’ve been there.

“I don’t think people realize that person fought so hard to try not to do that. They just weren’t strong enough.

“I have an acquaintance whose mom recently killed herself. And I know that she’s blaming herself. That’s what people do: ‘I should have seen the red flags. I could have done this. I should have done that.’ But people need to know there is literally nothing you could have done to stop that from happening. You carry no blame. I need that little girl to know that she could not have saved her mom, no matter what she could have done.

“I need people to know that the person who eventually did not make it tried really hard. They didn’t just take the easy way out. They didn’t just give up. They tried really hard not to do it. They just couldn’t.

“I’m very blessed to never have lost anybody to that. I know it’s the most torturous thing ever. But there’s nothing you could have done. Because that chaos, that fight that’s inside their head, you can’t get in there. People want to call it selfish, this and that. You have no idea until you’ve actually wanted to end it, and like repeatedly; not just that you’ve had a really shitty day. Until you’ve lived that in and out for years, you just have no idea.”

— Sheena Gordon