Drunk driver forever changes her life

“We were going into Houston for dinner with some good friends. Because we expected to have a drink or two, we asked our daughter to be our Uber driver. She was a college student. She was home. She needed the money. So we had her drop us off, and we were going to call her when we were ready to be picked up.

“After dinner, we took a different Uber to this new bar we wanted to check out. We drank some. We danced. And it was around 12:30 when our daughter came to get us. After dropping off our friends at their house in Crosby, we headed home.

“John was in the front passenger seat, and I was on the bench seat in back. I remember telling them that I was going to lie down, and that Whataburger sounded good. The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital, and telling my mother, ‘I can’t feel my legs.’

“I learned that we had been hit by a woman in a Hummer. She was driving drunk and texting. Thank God that John and my daughter were OK. He said that I didn’t have my seat belt on. I could not believe that I had taken it off. Because if you know me, I was always the seat belt police.”

She ended up with her head resting on the floor board, and her feet over the back of the seat. Her arm was stuck between the edge of the seat and the door, which had caved in on her shoulder.

“I broke my sternum and the ribs around it. And my spinal cord was injured. I had two surgeries.

“I don’t recall when they told me that I was paralyzed. Maybe I just knew. I would try to move my legs, and nothing happened. I thought, ‘Am I ever going to walk again?’

“I was in the hospital 43 days. It was a roller coaster of emotions. One day I would be OK, and the next I would curse everybody. I didn’t want to go to therapy. I started having major anxiety attacks because I couldn’t move. I was getting claustrophobic. And I was just mad. Mad at the world. Mad at God. Mad at the lady who put me in a wheelchair.

Husband her biggest advocate

“When I found out that I was never going to walk again, I just cried. And I asked God, ‘Why? Why me?’ To be honest, I wanted to die. I hate saying that, because I was the lucky one. There are mothers who would give anything to have their child in a wheelchair, instead of having to bury them.

“But when I finally got home from the hospital, we were all scared. I’m paralyzed from the chest down. I have severe nerve pain that never goes away. How were we going to adapt to this new life? It was tough. Especially that first year, when I was in a hospital bed in what’s supposed to be our dining room.

“But I’ve gradually made progress. Every day I don’t go, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m never going to walk again.’ I continue telling my brain, ‘Pick up your leg and take a step. Now it’s the other leg’s turn.’ I still believe in miracles. I want to believe that I may eventually walk one day. If not, I’m finally adapting to life in a wheelchair.

“For the first 2 1/2 years after the wreck, though, I pretty much stayed home. I didn’t want to go anywhere. Then John began nudging me and said, ‘It’s time. You can’t stay inside all day. You’re going to wind up even more depressed.’ So we’d go to a restaurant. We went to the museum. My son played college football, so we traveled to his games.

“And I’m trying to be that cheerful person I used to be: saying hello, meeting new people. I do that at church, where I feel really comfortable. A little bit more of the old me is coming out. And I don’t feel as trapped inside my body.

“But I could not do this without the support of family and friends. My mother and sister-in-law take care of me during the day. When John gets off work, his other job is to come home and help me. He’s never wavered. We’ll be married 27 years in May. And I feel like our relationship is stronger than ever.

“That part of our marriage vows, in sickness and in health, really means a lot. When I got out of the Shock Trauma Intensive Care Unit, he held my hand and said, ‘We’re going to get through this. I’m here for you. I’ll be here for you forever, until the day I die.’

‘It doesn’t seem fair’

“It wasn’t until several weeks after the accident that they arrested the woman who hit us. The wreck happened in 2018. In 2019, she was finally sentenced to five years.

“We were there for the sentencing. Passing her in the hallway with her standing up and me in a wheelchair, I really wanted to lunge at her. I could feel the rage inside me. She looked at me and then looked away, like no big deal.

“In my impact statement, I said, ‘Look at me. Look what you’ve done to me. I’m not supposed to be in this chair. Because of your actions, I can no longer be a nurse. I can no longer sit and work an eight-hour day.’ I also said, ‘What you did to me, you can do to your own family. You could kill your husband, your children, your grandchild, your mother. Then how are you going to feel?’ I said, ‘If I can save one person by putting you away, then I’m good with that.’ But still, no remorse. She couldn’t even look at me and just say, ‘I’m sorry.’ She never took responsibility for driving drunk.

“She’s up for parole in May. And I’ve been asking family and friends if they’d be willing to write a protest letter to the parole board on my behalf. I mean, she’s only served 2 1/2 years of her five-year sentence, while I have to serve a life sentence with my injuries in a wheelchair. It makes my blood boil.

“I hope she’s learned something from the whole experience. But from what we’ve seen online, her family is just ready for her to get out so they can have a big party. It doesn’t seem fair at all.”

— Patti Pequeno Farris