She’s suffered her share of tragic losses

“One of my duties at work was to create ID badges for all the employees. They had to be renewed on everyone’s birthday. When Juan came to see me, I made his ID and we flirted a little bit.

“Afterward, I jokingly said to my assistant, ‘Oh, my gosh. Tell him that I would rock his world.’ It was a ‘90s thing back then. I was really just joking. But she went and told him, and came back with his phone number.

“He and I talked five or six hours that night. We went out that Friday. Then after three weeks of going out, spending all that time together, he proposed. We made plans really quick. We got married three months later.

“It was pretty much a fairy tale marriage. Everybody would comment on how he’d walk into a room, and his face would light up to see me. They were like, ‘You could be a stranger in the room and know that you were his mate.’

“My husband was a total gentleman, too. I took care of the household. He did a lot of the outdoor stuff. He didn’t want me to do any yard work. I’d be like, ‘Let me help you with the weeds, then we can be finished sooner.’ And he’d say, ‘No, I don’t want you sweating. You go inside and sit pretty.’ People used to laugh about it. But that’s just the type of relationship we had for 20 years.”

Difficult decision

“My first pregnancy, I was having twins. At seven months, I got sick and had to go into the hospital. I spent about five days in labor. They were trying to stop it, but they couldn’t. So I had an emergency C-section. The boys were born premie. One was 3.4 pounds. The other was 4.6 pounds.

“The first born, Aaron, got sick a week later. His intestines weren’t fully developed. They were kind of perforated and causing problems. So they did surgery and took out a third of his colon, I guess with the hope of him having a normal life. It didn’t work.

“A week later, we had to make the decision to take him off life support. But the thing is, he continued to live another week after that. And that was brutal. When they asked us to make the decision, they didn’t expect him to live long. So during that week after, we questioned ourselves so much. Did we make the right choice?

“I revisit his grave from time to time. I went on Mother’s Day to clean his headstone.

“The other twin, Abel, will be 26 in July. You know how they say that twins have a special connection? Definitely, when he was younger, he would cry a lot. Even though he never really got to meet his brother, he would say that he missed him. Because it was this missing piece for him.

“He’s high-functioning autistic. He has Asperger’s. So he’s fully functional to a certain extent. I look at Abel daily, and can’t help but wonder what Aaron would have been like. What would he be interested in? What would his personality be like? It’s tough for me, no matter how much time passes.”

Another son, Chris, will be 22 in September.

No ordinary day

“Juan was a service technician for gas stations in the Houston area. He fixed the gas pumps, the price signs, the cash registers. Basically, all the electronics that needed attention.

“Our normal routine was to text each other around 10 a.m. Every couple hours, we would communicate. He would check on me, and see how my day was going. At noon, during my lunch hour, we’d have a phone conversation.

“Well, on this particular day, his speech started slurring. He said, ‘Something’s wrong.’ I could tell in his voice. Then he said, ‘I can’t see. I’m getting dizzy. I have ringing in my ears. I’m having trouble breathing. I don’t think I can drive.’ Just all these things.

“I told him to pull over and call 911. After a few minutes, I called him back. He hadn’t called 911. He was struggling to drive, and his speech had gotten worse. I couldn’t understand a word.

“So I called 911. I work in La Porte, and my call got routed to Deer Park Police. We were on a three-way, trying to figure out where he was so they could send help. They pinged his phone and got a general area. They dispatched police, fire, ambulance and even tow trucks to look for him. They circled for about an hour.

“Imagine your loved one dying, and you’re on the other end of the phone listening to him struggle. You’re desperately praying and reassuring him that they would find him.

“I finally thought about calling his supervisor. I forgot they used a tracker on their trucks, to see who’s closest for service calls. A few minutes after that, they found him.

“A police officer was the first to arrive. He grabbed his phone and said, ‘It appears your husband had a stroke. I’ll call you back after EMS gets here and assesses him.’

“When I learned what hospital they were taking him to, I told my boss, ‘I have to go. It looks like Juan had a stroke.’ While I was leaving, I called my church. I asked for prayers.”

Juan had a major hemorrhage in his brain stem. After many ups and downs in his recovery, he passed away about six weeks later on April 12, 2015, at age 44. It was two weeks before his oldest son’s high school graduation.

Family still grieving

“I don’t like it when people say, ‘God doesn’t give you more than what you can handle.’ I’m like, OK, I guess I’m Wonder Woman then. I must be so powerful. It hasn’t been easy. I have good days. I have bad days.

“I try to make light of things every day. I laugh. After Juan passed away, I used a lot of widow humor. Some people didn’t like that. I guess it was just my way of coping.

“It’s been really hard with my kids. They lost their best friend, too. He was that dad who was there for them the whole time. To watch them struggle throughout that experience was very difficult.

“They were 18 and 14 when he died. I had to work a lot of hours, so they spent a lot of time alone. They missed out on a lot. But I didn’t have a choice. I had to work.

“We all needed each other’s comfort. Everyone goes through grieving at different times and in different ways. One can go through the anger phase, while the other may just want to hide away and not deal with anything. Seven years later, we’re still dealing with it.

“I was doing pretty well at five years out. But then my best friend of 40 years was a victim of domestic violence. She and her daughter were killed. That set me back again.

“About 10 months after Juan died, his brother told me something. While he was sick, Juan told him to make sure that I moved on. I kind of felt like he gave me his blessing. Not that I was looking for it at that time. But at least I knew it was a possibility, and that he was thinking ahead for me.

“I make fun of my singleness, my singlehood, just because people will say, ‘You’re a real good catch.’ That doesn’t mean anything. That doesn’t mean you’re going to find your soulmate again. Not saying that I won’t. I’ve dated. But I’ve learned that you never know what the future holds.

“My boys are great. They tell me, ‘Mom, we just want you to be happy. We don’t want another dad. We just want another best friend.’”

— Brenda Medina